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Sunday, June 7, 2009

the ellen show: bullying must stop now!

I love Ellen and as everyone knows I will talk about her more and more because I think she's an amazing person. Not only is she talented but she is giving, spiritual and just a really funny and down to earth person.

On the Ellen Show:

Sardina Walker spoke out about her son Carl. "He was a warm kind, caring kid. He was always smiling."

Carl was bullied most of the school year and his mother, Sardina believes because of this he took his own life. She informed the school about the situation concerning Carl and they wanted to know who was bullying him but Carl was hesitant to tell, afraid they (his bullies) would label him further a rat or fink.

"You act like your gay, you must be gay, we think you are gay." Those are the things the kids said to this poor eleven year old boy.

Ellen states: "There needs to be a class taught every day in schools called compassion. Math, English, Science and compassion, taught every day."

Carl was an honor roll student. Mom said she wasn't angry because it won't bring him (her son) back.

There was an incident at school and the school didn't inform her. Carl would tell his mother one thing. The school would say something else, and the truth was somewhere in between says Sardina.

There was a fight at school and Carl's life was threatened. His mother Sardina had arranged for a PTO meeting at the school. Carl killed himself that night.

Sardina says she is also worried about Carl's friend (a girl) at school because before he died, Carl told his mother they pick on her (his friend) every day.

Sardina is going to lead a campaign against bullying, helping parents become involved with their children by asking how their day was.

There is a memorial fund where you can contribute to Carl just go to Ellen's Site.

Whenever I hear things like this I get so fecking angry inside. I mean seriously, I know it's not abnormal for kids to be meaners, they've been doing it for ages.

But as a mom of a very athletic, popular, good in school and sensitive ten year old boy; hearing about Carl and what he went through before taking his life greatly disturbs me and makes me feel his mother's pain.

It also makes me worried for hockeydude (JJ) my son.

JJ will often come in the house after school and of course I always ask him how his day was. He tells me about how kids at school call him a fag, gay, stupid, retarded or say his little brother is a retard simply because they know pickleboy (my youngest Trace) has CP (Cerebral Palsy)

Now both Corky and I have always told Jake words will only hurt you if you let them. That he has the power to walk away and ignore what others say to him and the more he gets upset the more they will bully or bug him. Walk away. It's not worth fighting over.

But maybe it's worth fighting for?
My son's life is worth fighting for ain't it?
Words can kill!

I know JJ says the same thing Carl did; he doesn't want to get labeled a rat or the meaners (bullies) will just get more mean and the bullying will continue.

We also go through the same shit crap with the schools as they don't do much to help the situation always stating nothing is wrong.

This year alone, JJ has dealt with a classmate taking his deodarant and throwing it across the room after gym, and this was after the boy pushed him to the ground when he told the boy not to take his things.

This same boy broke his knapsack and called him a "carpet muncher" lovely little word my son only in grade four came home and told me about. JJ wanted to know what it meant I told him the term is used for people who lay carpets for a living ahem (yeah shut up) I didn't know what to say.

JJ has come home with bruises and one day even in tears because the girls at the school kicked him in the nuts three times so hard he threw up and the school neglected to tell me, even after JJ told the teacher they were doing it and another teacher saw.

He stayed in his room all day refusing to play with his friends, depressed and upset. But he got over it and went back to being his loving self.

We have gone to the school board, written letters and tried to teach JJ that nobody has the right to hurt him physically or verbally or mentally. It's abusive and wrong and won't be tolerated.

Bullying must stop!
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