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Sunday, May 31, 2009

sunday swap: Mixed Frosty Fruit Punch Recipe |888Umi - anything about health, relationship, parenting, cooking, and beauty tips

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august rush: movie review

So the boys and I sat down and they wanted me to rent a movie for them tonight. A spent the night (my nephew) again and they wanted to see The Day The Earth Stood Still. I was going to rent it when I began flipping through the channels and August Rush was on.

Corky and I watched it before one night at like 1am and I loved it. It wasn't something though two ten year old boys I thought would want to watch but I gave it a try, telling them about it and what was going on with this boy named Evan who ran away from the home for boys he was staying at to go out in search for his parents.

Now Evan is unique because he has a gift. He has the gift of music and he truly believes if plays loud enough that his parents will find him. Freddie Highmore, Robin Williams and other stars team up in this wonderfully written tale about lost and found of the heart.

Below is a clip of the movie. If you haven't seen it, watch it. It's a great movie that shows the power of the heart and the love of parent and child is a strong bond.

Anyhow the boys watched the entire movie and they loved it. Again it is not the Incredible Hulk or something they would ordinarily watch. So it was nice to see that they enjoyed something of this depth.

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Saturday, May 30, 2009

small talk six: things that make me sick

It's Saturday which means it's time for Small Talk Six on Head on over there to log in and post your six things that make you sick but you eat them anyhow. Mine are below. Happy Saturday!

There are many things I cannot eat because I suffer from IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrom) which no does not mean my bowels don't work, (I know TMI) but I just wanted u peeps to know that is not what it always means.

It means there are all kinds of foods that irritate my bowels and cause severe pain when I eat them. Sometimes I know what those things are and other times I have no clue and it's a process of elimination to figure it out, like when you get allergies to something.

Some things I eat because I want to and others it's because I have to because I love them so much and refuse to stop eating them even though I know I will feel sick later.

1.) Ice Cream - I can only have Dairyland and Breyers so far. Any other type and I'm at risk for feeling my tummy twist like a pretzel all night long while I moan and groan "Ohhhh I shouldn't have eaten that) and Corky says it serves me right.

2.) Hot Dogs. They don't agree with me at all. Mostly because I think they are a byproduct but sometimes even the real beef ones upset my tummy.

3.) Tim Horton's Ice Cap Supreme's. Mmmmmm my absolute fav but I always throw up after drinking them. I guess I can't handle the caffine or maybe it's the whip cream. I haven't figured it out yet lol. But I still drink one a week. Drink ... Puke... Repeat. I'm a glutton I know.

4.) Hamburger. Yep good ole beef. My mother used to put beef in everything when I was growing up. One night we'd have spaghetti, then shepherd's pie, then mac and cheese with beef in it, then tacos or nachos and finally meat loaf. I think I grew a sensitivity to ground beef because now I cannot even stand to cook it myself, Corky does it because I cannot handle the smell.

5.) Pop. Pepsi to be precise. I love pepsi but it upsets my tummy so badly I feel like one of those pop rock candies. You know the kind you put in your mouth that fizz and bubbly over making you look like you have rabies? Good times!

6.) Finally worse for me is cheese. Anything dairy really despite the fact I'm not lactose. I just shouldn't have dairy because of my IBS and my God cheese is my absolute favorite! I love it! Medium, Marble, Swiss, White you name it I love cheese.

It's funny how many things we like don't like us back eh?
Until next Saturday! Best wishes!

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friday frustrations - prop8 and the buzz about it.

It's Friday Frustrations, so much fun to vent all that stuff you have kicking around inside of you.

If you post on Friday's, don't forget to hop on over to conversations with moms and leave your link.

Also please drop your comments here so I know you are a follower, join me on google or just say hi!

You can write about one topic or write about many. You don't have to write about the topic I do or anyone else, make up your own.

This week I'm going to talk about gay marriage and what is going on down in the states, mainly California and Prop8 and all the buzz surrounding gay marriage. It's just too damn complicated I think.

So hubby and I watched Dr. Phil on Friday. Yes I said Dr. Phil (shut up!) we like him, he's special (lol). Anyhoo he had one side of the audience who was against prop8 and the other side for it. He had a panel of experts in different fields, pastors, government officials etc... on both sides of the fence as well.

We listened for an hour each side argue why gay marriage should or should not be legal. Both sides raised good points (according DR.P) but to us the entire thing was just retarded and I cannot believe in this time we live in we are still arguing about something so stupid as gay marriage.

I do not mean to say gay marriage is stupid, nor do I mean to disrespect anyone else's opinion on the matter. Each individual is entitled to their own beliefs. That is not something that frustrates me nor something I can argue about.

What gets me is us (human kind) and our inhibility to stop looking through rose colored glasses. And why whenever there are important decisions to be made do we constantly say God won't approve of something if it means change? We always bring the Lord into things when I'm pretty sure he's up there right now shaking his head saying what a bunch of assholes we are and how not nice it is to be using him, when he'd rather be left out of it and not use him as an excuse to move forward as a higher species.

Hubby says it's because he created us to have free will and what we are witnessing is human kind using that free will in the most absurd nature. It happened before and will continue to happen in regards to making any decisions outside the box, a box to which our ancenstors built.

I listened to these peeps go on and on about how gay marriage is wrong because it erodes the institute of marriage between a man and woman. I nearly wanted to gag. Hey, man leave straight marriage out of your debate, we have our own troubles! I can't get hubby to stop watching hockey long enough to pay attention to me for a five minute conversation without you using me and saying my marriage is going to crumble because two gay or lesbian couples wish to exchange i do's.

Marriage is tough if they want to join the club why not let them? It's no hay ride let me tell you!

And then they went on to talk about how it's morally wrong and will fuck up our kids because they are being raised in same sex households blah blah blah... Our kids are screwed up because we are screwed up as a whole. Besides, kids are smart eh...

Corky and I had this discussion, not sure if you and your spouse have. "What would you do if one of our boys ended up being gay? How would you feel?" Of course I wanted his opinion. His answer was typical of a loving father. "Well I'd love my boys no matter what. I'd have to learn to accept their choices."

Bingo! Enough said. Accept their choices. See that is it in a nutshell. The whole debate over this is learning to accept another human beings choice, free will to decide what is or isn't right for them. Why when it comes to equality does it always have to be a fight? Why do we think we get to choose to be lord of the manor over someone else's God given right to choose what is right for them?

Because we are pompous, arrogant, self centered, ego maniacs who think the sky won't fall down around us. Well listen up chicken little... I have no choice over what gender my boys choose to fall in love with or what their sexual preference will be. And ewww why would I want to. I don't care if it's a guy or girl, I'm a mother and want my babies to be babies forever thank you without yucky love stuff invading them at all!

Still you get my point, right? I don't get to choose. And anyone who has ever fallen in love, really in love will understand that it doesn't matter and there is no choice. That is the human condition. We fall in love with people not gender. At least we do where I come from, which might explain why Robson and Davie is crawling with happy gay people everywhere you turn. It's great!

Love is great! It's supposed to be isn't it?

I watch Ellen during the week. God I love her! But I don't see her and say "my gosh there is Ellen, she's so gay you know..." I see Ellen. Ellen and her wacky ways, her generous heart when she gives to people in her audience, the funny games she plays on her show.

I also watch Oprah. Oprah isn't gay she is in a happy hetro relationship. Do we go around saying "oh there is oprah the straight girl." No we don't! Could you image?

I don't know I'm not that into politics and really frankly don't understand why politics needs to be involved in something as universal as loving one another, accepting one another and teaching our children to do the same if they stand a chance at the world we will leave them behind with. I just don't get it.

But then again I never got why women had to fight for their rights to read and shit. Oh yeah it's because everyone was scared we were smarter which we are. Oops don't let Corky hear me say that, I'll have to go to capital hill to plead my case.

Prop8 is silly. I think if two people want to get married they should be allowed to honor whatever traditions they wish and we should be focusing more on what the hell we are doing to our environment, bringing home our soldiers from a war that is not worth fighting, dealing with the prices of our environment, our homeless people and children left in waiting without parents to care for them, gangs and violence that is crowding and taking over our streets, the lack of jobs in our crumbling economy and my God the list goes on.

Instead of worrying about whether our neighbors who might happen to be two guys madly in love with one another wishing to tie the knot and have the same rights as we do as one of the biggest issues we have to face.

It's absurb!

Whew! Okay my rant is done and I said my peace. Now if you will excuse me I have a shit load of laundry and I have to write a bill for congress on why laundry detergent costs nearly 12 dollars to wash my fucking clothes!

Now that is an issue!

Here is the Musical Prop 8 written by Mark Shayman of Hairspray and stars Jack Black, John C. Reilly and many more. It's hilarious, truthful and totally one of the reasons why I think humor is a great device to conquer the divide.

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Friday, May 29, 2009

mouse trap video

I found this video on youtube and cracked a gut laughing at it. Thought I'd share it with you all.

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Wednesday, May 27, 2009

wordless wednesday: precious moments

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Tuesday, May 26, 2009

random tuesday: being sick, losing a child, and loving our children with disabilities, many blessings

Random Tuesday, something I love. Why? Because being random is like my biggest thing. I often get accused of jumping around with my thoughts which is something that pisses Corky off regularly, maybe why I do it, I don't know. I can't really help it. I just get a thought and speak it. I don't really stop to think about it. It's more like my mouth controls my brain which fugers me up constantly and often lands my ass in trouble.

This week there isn't much to blah about except I'm still fecking sick! (thanks Kia) for the word usage my mother likes you already lol. And I'm fecking sick of being sick I tell you. I'm tired of the BRAT diet. Who the feck wants to eat banana's, rice, apples and fecking toast all fecking week long? NOT ME, that's for sure. But it's the only thing that will stay down in my tummy and keep me from blowing chunks in the toitie and praying to the porcelain God for a quick death over coughing and peeing myself like a wild animal! Shit my bladder might as well be ground up and used as paper mache for some school project for all the damn good it's worth.

To make matters even worse, day three of being ill miss P arrived. She comes monthly (you know) and heaven forbid she couldn't wait until this illness was over. No she comes smack fecking dab in the middle of it. So now I'm not only coughing and peeing myself, but bleeding like a stuck pig while I'm at it. I went through five pairs of pants in the laundry already! Thank God Corky isn't squimish when it comes to blood.

So I'm sitting on the sofa right now, watching incredible hulk with the kids while typing this tirade to you all. I'm thinking shit! Hulk is angry cause he turns green and mean he outta try being ill, having no voice, bleeding out his woo hoo and aching in every muscular joint God gave him, while dealing with five kids today, the business and the phone ringing off the hook. He wants to see green and mean. I can show him an anger ball that would scare the color right off his large ass!


On another note. My GF BFF JF is having a hard time this week. She lost her son, her daughter's twin, four years ago and this week is a bit of down week for her. She's leaving her job which is causing her emotions to run a muck with her, plus she's sort of seeing a guy (web romance) and not quite sure if she likes him or not, her son is behind on his school work, she's a single mom and feeling the pain of long days, sleepless nights and not enough lovin... you know what I mean.

Anyhoo I am giving this shout out to her to feel better. We had a good cry today over her boy which I can't even begin to imagine the pain of losing a child. No mother wants to or should have to know that kind of pain. And no child should feel so scared.

So J this is for you. It's a beautiful song for your sweet boy who I know is with God watching over you and will see you soon one day. No matter what anyone tells you sweetie, you have a right to grieve, to be sad, to miss him each and every day of your life when you choose. And I want you to know I will always be here to hold your hand and weep with you when you need me.

Hugs and kisses

This is a video with the song by Mark Schultz called He's my son. The video is of a little boy named Carter who bless me makes me grateful in knowing many of us are not alone with loving children with disabilities, some worse than others. We are still not alone. Carter has CF and struggles each day of his life and my family and I send our blessings to him and pray each of his life is filled with balloons, kisses and love.

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Monday, May 25, 2009

monday mumbers: being sick

3,245 times I got up to pee in the middle of the night because of coughing too hard and my bladder decided it would malfunction every three minutes.

200 cough candies I've eaten in the past four days.

1 cup of Neo I drank which tasted like warm pee left outside in the sun for too long. Not that I know what warm pee tastes like lmao.

5,273 times I tried to raise my voice to tell pickle boy to stop doing this... or stop doing that.

8, 925 times he laughed at me because I sound like a raspy moth caught in a net. I have no voice anymore.

5 time outs I gave myself today because my patience level was teeter between manic mom and straight jacket mom.

12 time outs the kids got for not listening. I don't think the time outs are working for any of us lol.

15 times I cried today because my body aches in places I didn't know existed, I have no energy and really hate being this sick while looking after my kids. I just can't function.

4 days I've been back on my Celexa which is helping me cope (some) at least and the Pariet is making my acid reflux sooooooooooo much better. Thank God for small favors!

8 times I have watched Beverly Hills Chihuahua since my neighbor lent it to us for the kids and I and Corky to watch.

3 times pickle boy went pee in the potty this week. I am so happy. It's a start. He's getting there for only three years old.

7 times both boys told me they loved me today on their own, giving me hugs, making being sick so much easier to handle.

1 get well mommy card they made me. Here come the tears again, only this time they are happy tears. No more anger ball here.

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Sunday, May 24, 2009

woman accused of throwing her kids off a bridge.

I will never understand it. No matter how many times I hear about it, read about it or watch it on the news. All these stories of parents hurting their children in some violent manner, just floors me. I will never get it.

I look at the boys and I think about how vulnerable they are, fragile and trusting in both Corky and me. Why shouldn't they be, we are after all their parents. They have been taught to trust us, that we love them and will protect them, no matter what.

That's why when I hear these types of stories it makes me sick inside. How can a parent hurt their child?

A woman in Portland, Ore was accused of throwing her two children off a 75 foot bridge into a freezing cold river below, killing her young four year old son and injury her seven year old daughter. Read the story here.

Children are so innocent. Now this poor little girl who has survived this horrific ordeal has to live with the fact that her mother tried to kill her and killed her brother. How she will ever end up recovering I have no idea, but hope she does. How do you explain to a seven year old that some people just aren't in the frame of mind to deal or cope with things in life? Like that is suppose to make you feel better after some one tosses you off a bridge like a McDonald's wrapper, a piece of garbage not worth saving.

What kills me is the woman went back to her apartment and when the police came she threatened to jump off the ledge. Yeah at that point I would have said "Go ahead and jump! It's what you should have done in the first place!" But yeah I wasn't there and could only read about the horror and tragedy of this story via Twitter.

I'm going to snuggle with the boys now. I'm going to count their fingers and toys and thank the Lord they are precious little gifts and how grateful I am to be a part of them and their lives. I will also say a prayer for this little girl who right now somewhere in trying to make sense over all this ugliness in the world we live in.

Dream of roses little girl, because they do exist. Not everyone has thorns.

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Saturday, May 23, 2009

small talk six: things I love about the ocean

Living in British Columbia, surrounded by beautiful lakes and country side. I don't get downtown very often (Vancouver) to see the ocean anymore.

I love the ocean. Who doesn't? I love the smell, the wind floating off the waves as they cascade across the sands beneath my feet.

I love sand between my toes, searching for shells and finding crabs beneath giant boulders with barnacle covering them.

It's tranquil. That is what the ocean is, beautiful and restful, and a perfect spot to sit and catch up on your thoughts or frolic like a child making sandcastles.

Here are six pictures I found to respresent this weeks Small talk Six: on why I love the ocean. If you participate in SMTLK6 then head over to and post there. Also leave me a comment here to let me see or read your posts.

Happy Saturday!


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Friday, May 22, 2009

friday frustrations: i hate being sick!

It's Friday and my frustrations are above and beyond words.

Well -- okay not totally beyond words. I'm never beyond words, no matter what state I'm in LOL.

I've been sick for about four days now. It started as a runny nose, then moved into both ears (which I hate) and then into my eyes and finally--it's gone into my chest.

I decided that today I would list my frustrations for you on why I don't like being sick.

If you participate in Friday Frustrations please head over to conversations with mom and drop your link. Leave comments here please on your Friday posts. I love reading them.

What FRUSTRATES me about being sick.

* I miss spending time with my boys. Not having the energy to play with them is kind of depressing.

* I hate coughing so hard I need depends because I pee myself. It sucks!

* The taste of medicine which lingers on my tongue many hours after I take it.

* Looking like death warmed over. As a mom I have to work hard to try to look normal and dragged down. When I'm sick it's nearly impossible and I look like a creature out of the night of living dead and it's not even Halloween.

* Eating nothing but soup for four days. There is only so much chicken noodle a person can take.

* Running out of Popsicles which make my throat feel better.

* Not being able to sleep because I can't get comfortable enough.

* The body aches. I hate them, every joint, bone and inch of me hurts.

* Feeling hot and cold all the time. Ahhh things to look forward to maybe with menopause--what joy!

* And finally what I frustrates me about being sick is giving it others. No matter how much I wash my hands, cough into a Kleenex or my sleeve, it always goes through the house like a rampant wave.

Until next Friday!
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Wednesday, May 20, 2009

kris allen wins american idol!


OMG! I could not believe it when Ryan read the name out. I was so thrilled, shocked and totally happy to see Kris win American Idol, and not just because I predicted it which I totally did. Hollywood week I said to Corky,.. "he is going to win this." I don't know why I thought that, I mean I had my favorites. But there was just something about Kris that drew me in. His sexy smile and twinkling eyes wasn't it, and let's be truthful he doesn't have the most amazing voice I've ever heard. He can sing though.

No... that wasn't it. I don't know what it was. Maybe it was how humble he was during the entire competition right from day one when the judges asked him if he thought he he was good enough to win and Kris replied saying -- he thought there were better singers out there.

Yet week after week, night after night, Kris came out and did his thing. And the highlight for me tonight was watching with Keith Urban, one of my all time fav's sing together. The entire show rocked. Right from Danny singing with Lionel Richie, who was totally great by the way. The guy still has it. To Allison singing "Time after time" with Cindy Lauper, and Adam Lambert with Kiss was cool.

Chris starts his tour in Portland, Oregon. Below is a vid of his from the tonight show after his win with Leno.

Check out Kris's tweets on Twitter

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Saturday, May 16, 2009

small talk six: pieces of advice that are obvious but people should hear

I love, just love them! And I love being a part of Small Talk Six. This weeks 6 is advice people should know but maybe don't want to hear but should hear. 6 phrases, 6 videos, 6 of something you want to share.

It's great fun!

1.) Don't drink and drive. (No Tolerance!) Many think you can have one beer or glass of something over a period of time, but here in BC there is a no tolerance law. It would be sad to bury your child or someone you love because someone had just one beer and made a mistake they didn't mean to.

2.) Smoking kills. I have to say I cannot say much about this because I smoke and I'm a bad role model, for my children as well because they watch me smoke. Kinda hard to tell them not too when mommy is busy sticking a nic stick in her mouth. That's why I'm trying to quit, to set a better example.

3.) Washing your hands is important! With the H1N1 it's funny how we need commercials and other ads to tell us the importance of washing our hands daily, to keep germs and other bacteria away from our hands, eyes and face. It's a given.

4.) Turn off your coffee pots and other items you may not think of before you leave the house. Many people leave their dryers going, go out and think well -- nothing will happen. Leaving on your coffee pot (which I'm also guilty of) dryer, curling iron and so forth is a great way to come home to a pile of ashes and perhaps losing everything you love, even people as it can start a fire.

5.) Don't leave out medications (even those) with child protective caps. Kids are smart and it's amazing what you think they don't know they do. Leaving medications out is a sure way to cause problems for your kids. My three year old thinks my medication is candy and always wants some.

6.) Don't take anything for granted, especially time. This one hits close to home for me. My husband has a brain injury and forgets everything during the day when he goes to sleep. So he wakes up and each day is a brand new day. He's taught me to enjoy life, live for the moment and never never take life for granted because the things we love and people we love may not always be there when we expected it. So make each day count!

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Friday, May 15, 2009

friday frustrations: people

One thing I can't stand is when people lie. I mean it's hard enough to force ourselves to be honest with ourselves about shit in our lives. Why do people have to lie to make it even worse?

I've been working at home, taking calls from customers for my brothers business. I have to set up appointments, take their name, number, time they wish to book their units, get their addresses and so forth. And I always CB the night before their order goes out, just to make sure everything runs smoothly.

So this weekend was extremely busy. We had several castles and bouncers set up for delivery. It was also the worst weekend yet!

My driver got to each location and some people didn't have cash, even though I specifically told them CASH ONLY! and they lied to my driver (my dad actually) saying I never told them about this or that when I did! I told them several times.

I felt like jumping through the phone and strangling them, though that is a tad violent I know. I'm not on my meds right now, waiting for funding from the government which really sucks. So I have a tendency to think a little hot headed now and then, and this Friday was no exception.

It just really frustrates me when I'm dealing with an adult and they bald face lie about something I know I did or told them, just to screw us around. I know I'm whining and you are probably saying -- jeez Jodi get over it, people lie all the time.

I know they do.

I guess I'm just trying to figure out how on earth I get my boys to trust to anyone, to believe in what people say, to trust their words are genuine and not maliciously spread for the purpose of their own gain. How do I do that?

I like to believe in the good in people. Call me naive if you want, but I call it optimism because I refuse to believe we've come to such a point in our lives we wake up each day trying to figure out how to screw our neighbors for personal satisfaction or gain.

Maybe next weekend when I book bouncers I will simply just tell people they have it booked then call them up the night before and say I never said that and that they don't. See how they like having something to count on ripped out from under you.

I wish I could but that isn't good business. Not to mention it's just not nice and I know there are people out there who are nice and good and decent.

I just wish more of our customers were like them.

Do you participate in Friday Frustrations? If you do head on over to conversations with mom and post there. You can also drop me a comment and leave me a link to your post so I can read it. That would be great.
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Wednesday, May 13, 2009

wordless wednesday

I'm sad that my Canucks lost. Then I saw this and laughed my butt off! Sorry Robbie maybe next year. You guys did great though and we here in Vancouver are so proud of you!

If you are participating in wordless wednesday leave a comment and let me know. Then head over to and sign in and have some fun.

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Tuesday, May 12, 2009

random tuesday: pickleboy, charity,

My weekend was horrible. I have to tell you. I found out dad lost his job. I love my father and to see how hard he's worked his entire life, never giving anything to himself, just to us kids and my mother all these years. It was awful watching him break-down after getting laid off simply because of his age and the fact he made more money than the others in the same position.

Just wrong!

Pickle-boy has been driving me nuts lately. His cheeky behavior is totally out of control. It doesn't help either that hockey-dude who is now ten, contributes to his brothers nasty talk, by laughing at him. You know Jake was never rude to me. He wasn't the type of kid who said "no" to me and still doesn't when I ask him to do something.

PB on the other hand comes right out and challenges. If I ask him to come and see me, he says no. If we want him to clean his room he tells us to do it. He is constantly doing things to be rude, and I can't even tell you how many times he's had time-outs.

Man I hope things get better at four years old!

Pickle-boy received an invitation for Variety to join their boat for hope variety pirate day, a tour around false creek. PB has mild Cerebral and was chosen to be a guest for the pirate adventure.

Then I read further down after getting all excited about it for him. *note: children only over the age of four may go on the boats due to life jacket restrictions.
Ummm okay, they know my son is only 3. Why would they send this to us? Get me all excited dammit! LOL. All for nothing.
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Monday, May 11, 2009

vote stv may 12

We have an election coming up and of course as always it's depressing. Who to vote for? They are all idiots in my mind and it doesn't really matter, does it?

Well this morning my mother-in-law sent me something in my inbox which is the only reason I like Monday's, because for all of you who know I truly do actually hate them lol.

Christy Clark from CKNW makes great arguments, explaining clearly why voting "yes" to STV is a good choice. Watch and listen and please everyone cast your vote. This is our only shot!

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It's not Monday really, it's not even Tuesday right now. I'm blogging this on Wednesday - how sad. I'm so behinddddd!

It's been such a crazy week for me. I've been feeling all garbally (I know not really a word) but whatever, I like to make shit up!

Any-hoo this week I'm dedicating my mumbers to my son (Trace) a.k.a. pickle-boy who is trying not to allow us to help him learn how to go (not) in the potty. It's been frustrating, upsetting, traumatizing and even a little worrisome (for me) that is LOL.

Him? He will wear diapers until he's sixty and frankly he's just feeling ducky about that decision!

345 times I told pickle-boy "no" he couldn't have any cocoa's until he went pee on the potty.

6,000 times he asked for them.

12 times I lifted up the seat to put his potty on the big potty for him to try to go.

18,235 times he refused.

9 times hubby laughed his ass off each time PB came down to tell us he needed a diaper change, then he proceeded to lay on the floor, lift his legs happily and wait for us to nanny him and change his behind. (Good grief this is going to be harder than I thought).

456,934,200 times I nearly wanted (nearly) to pull out my hair when PB told people he peed in the potty like a big boy. The little fibber! Straight faced and all he did this without so much as any remorse for lying.

56 times I realized just how much trouble we are in with him.

13 times I told myself "he will go when he's ready"

18 times he told me "I not go pee. I don't want to. I won't. You can't make me" (yata yata) and so forth

5 times I called my mom to ask her if she remembers how to do this? To which she laughed at me. Secretly I think she's been the one telling him to pee on the floor like a dog and say nothing to us about marking his territory in our home. IT'S NOT FUNNY MOM!

1200 times I meant to blog these mumbers on actual Monday but forgot so now you have them. Hope you enjoyed...

Untill next week.

Continue reading... 31 days birthday bash

One of my favorite sites is doing it again--more great giveaways and tons of fun. Trish is turning 31 at the end of May and in honor they are having a 31 bloggers in 31 days event. Yeah Trish! Party on girl!

For 31 days in May, a different blogger will be highlighted and showcased each day, with a great giveaway and chance for all you bloggers to win some outstanding prizes, meet new friends and have tons of fun. What could be better than that?

So head on over to 31 bloggers in 31 days party and see all the fun stuff going on over there. Oh yeah and don't forget to wish Trish a happy birthday.
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Sunday, May 10, 2009

happy mothers day!

Okay so I had to do this post. I mean it's Mother's Day and I AM after all a mother.

One of the things about living with Corky and his brain injury is the fact that whenever holidays come around he (forgets). It's really not his fault. I mean secretly of course I blame him, but only because the kids aren't old enoough to remind him, and he's my husband. I have to blame someone lol.

Each year Mother's day rolls around and each year he asks me what I want. I always reply with the same thing. A card made by my children for me and breakfast in bed. I've gotten neither in any year that has come and gone. And I knew that this year wasn't going to be different.

I was sad at first. Until I saw this from Only in a Woman's World which always cracks me up, their skits and ads. I know many ladies don't like them but I don't give a crap because I think they are hilarious.

You know after watching this I realized. It doesn't matter if I don't get what I want on Mother's Day. That is not what is important. What is important is that my husband loves me. He shows me each and every day in all the many and truly wonderful things he does. Like doing the dishes without me asking or rubbing my feet and legs when they hurt without complaining - EVER!

Corky you may not remember Mother's Day but you remember to love and it's the thought that counts and you have many many good thoughts. You are always kind and caring, respectful and you hold me when I cry. You hug me when I need it. You teach the boys to love and respect me, to show their love and be strong.

All of those things and more is the reason why each year my Mother's Day is the best. I get the best present any mother could ask for. Children who love her and a husband who shows he cares.

You can't wrap it, there are no returns and it's fits me just right.

Thank you boys for being all you are for me.

- Mom

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Friday, May 8, 2009

friday frustrations: the crack life

Finally! A meme I can sink my teeth into. I mean who doesn't get frustrated? Especially if you are a parent, running on no sleep, waiting for that moment your eyes decided they've had enough and you can no longer walk because your legs are jell-o and... oh wait I'm already bitching aren't I? My bad.

Friday Frustrations is a cool meme you can join. Think of it as a way for you to get all the shitE bothering you off your chest and share it with others. Things your kids might do or maybe hubby is making you mad, maybe someone cut you off while driving to work to do. DON'T KEEP IT IN IT'S UNHEALTHY!

Sorry for shouting, sometimes I get excited. Maybe you want to post about that and how annoying it is to read caps lol.

Whatever you post it's meant to be fun, not to judge or be hurtful to others and maybe even to make new friends.

So if you want to try it. Leave me a comment about your Friday Frustrations with your sites link so I can read them all. Then head over to Conversations with Moms and sign in.

Happy Friday everyone!

Wanna know what frustrates me?

The drug addicts that sit on the corner by the store where I have to take my kids because it's near the market where I get my fruits and vegetables. There is nothing more wonderful than listening to your three year old cry out...

"Look mom that lady is pooping on the sidewalk!"

Ahhh how wonderful and I don't even live in the bad part of town!
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freaky friday: my son is now ten!

I’m not really sure how it happened. I mean it’s not like I woke up one day and decided, today is the day I’m going to discover that I’m getting older. Today is the day I will open my eyes and see my retina’s are slightly cloudier than usual, my body aches in places I had yet to learn about and that my children, my babies are no longer babies but growing up right before me and I have just been floating through each passing day as though it were nothing more than a dream I had been given the courtesy to enjoy rather than to live.

Yeah, no – I didn’t decide that. Sometimes bleep just happens.

And on this particular day—the bleep hit the fan!

Pardon the expression but it did. It hit it hard, blasting its nastiness all over me like a wet blanket of crap from a neighbour’s dog dead set on pooping my front yard and leaving it there for me to find.

I woke up this morning and I realized—my son is now ten.

Ten years old. Where the fuzz did the time go?

Yes I said FUZZ! Sue me, I’m a grown woman who curses when confronted with sad realizations of impending years floating before her over night.

Where DID the time go?

It was just yesterday I was bringing Jake home from the hospital. Swaddled in a small baby blue blanket; his black hair sticking straight up which gave me the continuous reminder of electrocuting myself during the pregnancy while wall papering the damn kitchen (story for another time).

God, he was so adorable.

Ten years ago I was twenty five years old. I was stupid. I was naive. I was stuck—in an unforgiving relationship tormented with hatred and pure abusive behaviour, both physically and mentally.

It was Jake who saved me.

Jake, who gave me my life back and helped me make the final decision to start out on my own, the place I should have been all the time but was too stupid to risk.

It was Jake who guided every decision I made from that moment forward, leaving his father—my abuser—my friend once—now my enemy because the man was too dumb to realize I had finally discovered my own self worth went beyond anything he could take away from me every again.

Jake—my baby—my son and the only person I feared would ever truly understand how much I needed and loved him, and how that love would continue as the years flew past us. And he did—understand.

Now he is all grown up.

He is ten today and I have no idea how on God’s green earth I am going to handle things. I mean I realize I cannot stop the future from happening. I wouldn’t dare try—that would be just retarded.

That is life.

I just feel so overwhelmed on this bright day watching as he barrels down the stairs with his big cheesy grin spread thick across what I quickly see becoming his ruggedly handsome face. He’s nearly as tall as I am, five feet no inches.

I watched as he walks into the laundry room, going to the pantry to grab the box of Frosted Flakes; his favourite cereal. And then it hits me.

My little boy was going to become a man!

I know... I know... you are sitting there and reading this and saying to
yourself—uh—duh. What did you think was going to happen, Jodi?

I don’t know what I thought. I just didn’t expect it. I didn’t see it coming. I feel completely blindsided by this natural and reoccurring event taking place.

It’s just a birthday, right?


You know when Jake was little and I used climb into his bed to grab a snug-a-bug with him, while he begged me to sing his song “Little boy blue” which I wrote the night he was born and had sung to him every night since. Not once did I ever think or dream of his future.

Not once.

When I left Jake’s father, it was just him and me—against the world. And that is how I lived each day, one day at a time. It was how I had to live.
I couldn’t afford to be afraid of everything for the rest of my life. I had already spent too much time being afraid. I didn’t want those fears to mask over, spilling into Jake’s life and keeping me from allowing him to grow and be who he is. I wanted him to be himself without worrying about mom worrying about him and about everything in-between.

So that is what I did.

I took each day as it came and lived it. Each day and every moment became precious and we built many memories daily—together. So I never stopped myself to worry about what kind of man he was going to become, what school he would go to after he graduated, who his friends would be or what life he was going to lead.

I just loved him.

But now—now I look at this gangly, overgrown young man with a face that mirrors mine and attitude that mirrors his stepfather, Corey and I think—OMG! Who is this kid? Is this really Jake? And just who is Jake?

I have absolutely no idea.

And I feel like the worst mother in the world because of that.

I have no idea what kind of music Jake wants to listen to, aside from country which he was raised on and is in his blood to love. I just found out the other day that he no longer wants to sing or play guitar. “It’s gay!” he tells me.

“Since when?” I asked him, to which I received the reply that he’d made this decision like at the beginning of the school year when all his friends made fun of one of his favourite country artists Brad Paisley because one of the girls said she’d gone to see the concert and suddenly all the boys thought it was gay to like singers.

I know Jake like hockey. In fact he lives for it. He eats, sleeps and breathes the sport, playing before, during and after school, and one of his dreams is to be a goalie in the NHL. It’s something he’d discussed with both Corky and myself since like a year ago, asking us if we could find a way to pay for him to join the junior team out here in Abbotsford.

But I never thought he was dead serious about it.

See what kind of mother I am. I sit here thinking I have such an amazing communicative relationship with my son, and yet I never really believed he was being serious when he told me his dreams, and I never knew changing what you like was a simple as following what your friends think.

I’m such an idiot!

I also just discovered he likes more than one girl at school!


I can actually hear my heart pounding and feel the chunks rising in my throat. Girls were not a part of the bargain when I brought this lovely little boy home. No—no—no, I clearly remember there being no dreams or wishes for those creatures to inhabit his life.

Yeah, right. Who was I kidding? Of course he likes girls. He’s ten!


I don’t even want to say the number.

He doesn’t have toys in his room anymore. Everything has been replaced with Canucks memorabilia and hockey cards, dirty clothes all over his floor, socks in the waste paper basket because his aim sucks.

No basketball in his future.

No more teddy bears or stuffies near his pillows to help him sleep at night. No more pyjamas, it is boxers only under the blankets. No more kissing his boo-boo’s when he falls or gets scrapes. Now he adorns his scars with a state of pride and grins.

No more tucking him at night. No more butterfly kisses or singing him to sleep. No more holding my hand because his friends might be watching, and Lord knows we don’t want to embarrass him in front of his boys.

He has boys?

Okay Jodi, breathe.

He’s not a teenager yet.

No, he’s a tween though.

That’s the age right before they become a teen but are no longer a child. It’s awkward, unforgiving, horrible and scary—for the parents. I don’t know about Jake but right now I do not like ten. Eleven will be even worse. I don’t even want to think about twelve. And you can just kill me at thirteen.

“How old do I have to be to drive?”


“How old do I have to be before I can work at McDonalds or have a job?”

“Fifteen, but only with my consent.”

“How old will I be when I graduate?”

“If you do all your homework and pass your exams—sixteen or seventeen.”

“How old will I be when I have sex?”



What? Well that is an age I thought appropriate at the time. You weren’t there for the questions so don’t judge!

So many questions, each and every day he asks now. It’s always something new having to do with what he will be doing a few years from now. I just want to shake him and yell—“you’re still just a child!”

But I can’t.

It’s a rite of passage, Corky tells me. And what’s worse—I don’t even get to be there for it. Apparently when they turn ten they go to dad for answers to the really hard questions, which half the time Corky won’t tell me what Jake’s even asked because he doesn’t remember them right after he gives Jake HIS answers.

So I have no idea what is going on. It’s totally unfair. And I realize all my bitching and moaning over this isn’t going to make you all understand or heck—feel sorry for the plight I’ve found myself in.

“Get over it, Jodi. Your son is growing up.”

I know he is. I just don’t want him to.

Oh well... I still have Trace. He’s still a baby, only three and not yet NOT needing me. I lean over the table to help him cut his hash brown in half.

“I do it! I do it!” He screams. “I a big boy!”

If you will all excuse me now... I’m going to the bathroom to lock myself in and drown myself in the toilet. Three flushes should do.

Happy Birthday Jake. I still love you of course, despite you growing up too fast. Don't worry mom will be okay. I might cry and worry. I might be afraid for your plans and wishes for your futures, but I'll never stop loving you. I'm proud of who you are. I'm proud of all you've accomplished. And no matter how old you get you will still be my baby. My first born. And I'm so grateful I got the chance to be your mom. Thank you for sharing your life with me.
- Love Mom

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Wednesday, May 6, 2009

wordless wednesday

I know it's wordless wednesday: which means no words. However I saw this and had to show it because it makes me think of my boys. Jake is going to be ten and Trace just turned three. There is quite the age gap between them, but this image reflects their love for each other and their bond of brotherly toughness.

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Tuesday, May 5, 2009

the many faces of me

Often my husband accuses me of putting other people first, before myself. I don't think of myself that way. I love the people in my life, and caring for them, doing for them, sharing with them is something that is as much a part of myself as the stubborn traits I was born with. It cannot be helped.

However, I decided to take a real look at myself. A close look at what makes Jodi Patrice Shaw who she really is. I don't consider myself complex (by any means) and I have been labeled a guys girl, meaning I am not a typical woman. Instead I see the other side (male life) being what it is and accept the male species for what they are, every beautiful sport watching, car crazy, logical thinking, tits and ass luvin part of them.

I on the other hand also do know myself, compared to many of my friends who struggle for some guidance in this area.

I have my girlie moments. I shed tears over everything and nothing and accept this as an insane part of my being. I am a control freak when it comes to the kids, and worry that every illness will turn out to be something terminal. I fly off the handle on a whim, depending on which side of the hormonal bed I woke up on and whether or not I'm in a premenstrual mood. I get angry for things that make my husband cringe. I do insanely funny things that make him bust a gut and report me to the men in the white coats.

I guess you could say there are many faces to me. I am not I suppose as plain jane as I reckon myself to be.

The Inner Kid in Me

I have days where nothing matters. Not that I don't care, but just days when I feel like instead of being a parent, I too want to be an eight year old kid and run around sticking out my tongue and saying to hell with the worries and stress. I mean who doesn't like being a kid?

Face of worry

I worry a lot about things in life. I often bite my lip and furrow my brown letting hubby know exactly what is bothering me, which is annoying. I worry about the kids, them eating right, if they are happy and content in this life I've been chosen to watch for them. I worry about money (who doesn't) and my parents leaving this earth and me. I worry about my husband and my friends and whether everyone is truly happy in what they are doing. Funny thing: I have normal blood pressure, where according to my doctor I should be dead.

Face of surprise

I am always surprised. Each day I learn new things, I really do. I don't know everything which I think is a magical gift in this world, to be able to learn something new and exciting each day I breathe. My kids always surprise me with the things they do or say, new things they learn. Hubby, too surprises me with the love he gives. Just when I think to put him in the same category as most men on the planet, he proves me wrong by doing something sweet like making me a hot cocoa when I am not well, or running me a bubble bath. Surprises are the icing on the cake of life I think. For me I like mine double iced and layered thick.

Face of sadness

As I told you I am no stranger to tears. I cry over everything, in fact I invented don't cry over spilt milk because I cry over that too. It's one of the many horrible inflictions I suffer with chemical depression, to which my medication doesn't always cure. I feel things deeply. Though I do not hate myself for crying. I embrace the salty overflow of emotional wonder that escapes me daily because it's cleansing and helps me recharge myself emotionally, instead of holding it all in and blowing up like a time-bomb. Crying is good for the soul, shedding the crap I carry frequently. Hubby's only complaint is the expense he puts out in tissues.

Face of Anger

ANGER BALL, my favorite saying when I am about to go postal on someones ass. Not much gets me angry quickly, which I think is due mainly to the fact I'm getting older and just don't have the energy to waste on other peoples stupidity.

I cannot stand being told to shut up, or told what to do or how to live. I am a firm believer that everyone on this earth has a right to THINK what THINK, BELIEVE what they BELIEVE and to FEEL what FEEL. Who am I to say different?

I won't bite off your head if you leave your shoes lying on the floor, or your coat not hung up, and I don't care if dishes are on my counter. I am a glass grabber, which means I am guilty of grabbing 43 glasses a day to drink from. My biggest pet peeve though are people who cannot drive, or should not be driving. Don't get me started, that's when you will hear MISS POTTY MOUTH.

Face of Shyness

For someone as forth right as myself, hubby is often surprised by the fact I still get shy. I am the first person to tell a rude joke and my nickname is sassy because I often do not care what comes flying out of my mouth when it comes to crudeness. But if you whisper dirty talk in my ear you will see me change three shades red, and if you talk about me in a good way, give me a compliment about my writing, about me as a mother or wife, I will shy away. Positive self talk is still something at 35 years old I'm working on. I have a lot to learn.

Face of Playfulness

Okay I am going to admit I owned Walt Disney movies before my kids were born. I love to blow bubbles and catch them before they hit the ground. I still love going on the teeter totter, and swinging from the rope at the park. I make snow angels and build snowmen, adding a cap and carrot and buttons for the eyes.

I love the feel of sand between my toes, grass beneath my feet, and still collect rocks I find pretty at the beach. I have an air hockey, ping pong table in my dining room, and a box full of video games and consider my boys to be two of my best friends. What can I say... except I don't want to grow up I want to be a toysrus kid FOREVER.

Happiness with Color

Overall I think hubby is right. I do put other people before myself. That's because I'm happy. Why wouldn't I be. I am a write, mother, wife. The three best jobs in the world, and worth every ounce of hardship that may stone the path I walk to enjoy those duties. I love life. I love the people in my life. But most of all I love myself. I didn't always, and it took a long time to embrace my womanhood, everything I am, all I have to give and to receive from this great big world we live in.

I guess I just figure there are many more things in this life that could be worse. Like waking up each day and forgetting the day before like hubby does. Now that would be torture. I may not enjoy each of the memories I have that led me to be the many faces of who I am. But without those memories I wouldn't be able to enjoy life, what got me here, or the people I've been blessed with along the way.

How many faces do you have? I bet you have more than you realize? Look in the mirror sometime. You might be surprised by what you see. I know I was.

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