My blog has moved!

You will be automatically redirected to the new address. If that does not occur, visit
and update your bookmarks.

Saturday, February 27, 2010

Small Talk Six - We R Family

Want to join in? Go here to learn how and to view the weekly Small Talk Six topics for 2009 & 2010.

Today’s topic is “6 things you love or hate about spending time with your or your significant other’s relatives.” You can answer this with a list of 6 words, 6 phrases, 6 sentences, 6 paragraphs, 6 photos, 6 videos, etc . . .

This week is easy for me.  I love my in laws and FD loves my parents.  So it's easy to talk about the things we love about spending time with them and other relatives.

1.) I hate my in laws live in Prince George and so far away and getting up there to see them is difficult due to finances.  But we love visiting with them.

2.) I love that my parents are in the same complex I am in, along with both my brothers near by.  It makes visiting easier and more fun, especially for the kids when they get together to play.

3.) I hate that my dad is turning grouchy as he's getting older.  Sometimes he snaps and says things that are means.  It's been a hard year for him, losing his job and being forced to retire early.  I pray things for him get easier and my mom.

4.) I love that FD and my brothers get along.  It's nice being married to someone your family loves, even if they don't quite understand his brain injury.  And I love that they tease FD about forgetting things all time and everyone laughs and nobodies feelings get hurt.

5.) My in laws live on private property in Prince George because they breed labs, the most wonderful breed of dogs ever.  We love to visit in the summer.  Private beach, our own cabin, lots of doggies for the boys to play with and my sister in law lives close by (in town) so the boys get to see their cousins when we go up.

6.) I hate Christmas time and trying to figure out who to visit, where to go, and all the running around we have to do because of where everyone lives.
If you participate in Small Talk Six then please take a minute to head over to MudBug and post your link.
Continue reading...

Friday, February 26, 2010

pencil skirts for plus size women

I came across this while perusing i-village and was totally blown away by how wonderful they look.

Being a plus size mommy myself. It's hard to find skirts that fit me. I'm short too... like smurf short so most skirts either bulk wrong at mid section and make me look frumpy or just don't fit around my curves.

These skirts are outstanding and hide those bulky areas we plus size mommies would love to hide.

Check them out here!

Continue reading...

student drivers need better teachers : friday frustrations

Okay I realize the cartoon above depicts a form of racism.  It's not truly meant that way.  I love people of all color and race.  My nieces and nephews are Asian and I'm the whitest girl in Canada.  Trailer park really.

However, that being said.  I have a beef!

Lately whenever we are on the road all I see are East Indian or Asian instructors teaching student drivers and based on what I see.  NONE OF THEM CAN DRIVE!

When I went down to the Motor Vehicle Branch and asked them why student drivers are being told to drive 20km in a 50km zone through the city.  I was told that isn't right.  You can actually fail your exam if you go slower and not go the correct speed through the speed zone required.

So why is it whenever we get stuck behind a student driver - and oh we get stuck behind them A LOT because FD seems to have radar for anyone who can't drive.  Why are they going so slow?

It's annoying!

It's frustrating!

We already know how to drive and yet are being punished to sit in a classroom behind a student who apparently is still just learning.

I think our government needs to rethink it's student driving program and instead of putting these ppl on the road.  They should use the mission speedway when it's not in use for driving practice and not put these (slower than molasses assholes) on the road to cause accidents until they can go the speed limit and drive effectively.

Oh and by the way to all teachers (not just the East Indian and Asian ones) the new cell phone law is in effect.  So get the fuck off your phones!  You are suppose to be teaching these helpless individuals how to drive, not talking to your wife or girlfriend while they are suppose to be paying attention to kids, cars and small squirrels crossing the street.  (WE HAVE SQUIRRELS!)

You can cause a fucking accident!  In fact I so appreciated watching several of you rear end a helpless old lady trying to peek over her wheel and hit some kid crossing the street because you were on your phone last week.  Yeah that was fun!

Maybe the students should be teaching the teachers and the teachers should turn in their report cards and take lessons themselves.  Either way -- STAY THE HELL OFF OUR ROADS UNTIL YOU CAN LEARN TO DRIVE!  AND DRIVE PROPERLY!

If you participate in Friday Frustrations head on over to Conversations with Moms and post your link there.  Don't forget to leave me some comment luv!  Yeah that includes you, and you and you.  I see you in the back hiding.

ConversationsWithMoms:Every day Conversations with a Mom Blog

Continue reading...

Thursday, February 25, 2010

marriage is more than just love

Men are strange. Yep I said it. They know it. We know it (women) but what else about men should we (women) know?

FD and I have been married for six years now and I have learned a thing or two about men while being with him. My last relationship was with Gamer's father and it lasted 10 yrs or so. And after a disastrous failure at that relationship I was determined to make sure my marriage this time made it through the humps, pitfalls and strangle-holds that often corrupt a couple in love.

1.) Love is never enough.

Love is great. Loving each other with respect is even better. But love is not enough to help a marriage sustain the abuse we go through leading every day life. Communication is the key to any successful relationship. So what about men and communication?

Many of my gf say one of the hardest things they find in dealing with their men is talking to them. This happens because we as women assume that our men should know exactly what we are thinking every moment.

Not true! Men aren't that smart. Nor do they even think about us or anyone else most of the time. So how do you talk to your man?

Straight up... as Paula Abdul would say. Be blunt. Ask for what you want. Tell your man what you need. Tell him how you feel, and not just about what he is or isn't doing. How YOU feel. Don't make him guess.

2.) All we ever do is fight about money.

Ahhhh this one is big.  In relationships between men and women the matter of money always seems to crop up and bite us in the ass.  Well most of us anyhow and that's because the way men and women handle and view the details on finances is different, along with what we feel is important.

So how do you find middle ground if money matters are causing your relationship trouble.

The first step is to figure out a system that works for everyone.  Some married couples are happy where one person deals with the money and one doesn't.  If that works for you great!  But if you find yourself arguing over where the money is going and need to gain a hold on your money.  Then you need to find a suitable way to arrange things where both of you can work it out together.

Get a receipt holder.  You know the kind with the large poke stick so you can throw on your receipts for everything you spend.  If you buy gas, it goes there.  If you pay a bill, the bill goes on it.  If you buy that new top you have wanted, it goes there.  That way at the end of each month you can sit down together and see where the money is going and who is spending what where. 

This isn't to arrange a full frontal attack on the person over spending.  It's a simple and easy method to assure both partners see how they are each spending and maybe where you need to cut back.

Above all remember, money is NOT not everything in life.  Paying your bills is important but it's not worth fighting over.  Get together and discuss how you feel and if there is something you want to purchase either together or separately, set up a savings account and tuck away a few bucks until the day comes when you can walk in and buy that $1000 sofa you've both been wanting.

3.) In our marriage doing the house work is 50/50 and we share everything!

Okay this is bullshit!  Sorry ladies but it's not true.  No matter how much we want it to be true, the majoridy of us women spend more time cleaning, cooking and taking care of business more than the men in our lives.

Is it because men don't care? 

Absolutely not.  Men care but they compartamentalize their jobs differently then what we do.  One thing I can't stand is when I hear one of my friends say ... "I asked him to do the dishes and he did them wrong!"

If you want a job done the way you want it done then for christ-sakes do it yourself.  It's that simple.  If you want help around the house then you have to make lists.

I know it sounds silly.  Make a list for a grown man?  Yep, and it works.  My parents have been married for 37 years and they still make lists for the house work.  Mom has her chores.  Dad has his.  They get up and they do them together or through out the day.  But the bottom line is it gets done and the house gets clean.

Find a way where the jobs or chores are delagated so that everyone is happy.  And if you have kids don't shy away from giving them a list of chores to do as well.  If everyone chips in, even if you work full time.  The chores and housework will get done and everyone will be happy; including mom.

4.) My husband /' boyfriend is selfish and doesn't care about me or my feelings or anything.

Okay again I'm calling bullshit.  This is an unfair statement about men and one that is made far too often.  

I realize for us gals it may appear as though the men in our lives don't give a shit about anything.  But that isn't the case.  Men just handle stress, emotions and life differently then we women do.  Women base everything on how they feel.  Men base everything on how things get done.  

Men worry and care just as much as we do but handle it different and if you man is not reacting or acting the way you think he should then maybe your expectations of him need to change.  Don't set yourself up to thinking men are unfeeling because you will be surprised at just how MUCH men feel about stuff.

Take FD for example.  

When I got sick and we had a scare thinking that maybe I had a heart problem.  He got very quiet.  He didn't talk to me.  In fact he wouldn't even hug me much.  It was like he was treating me as if I was already dead and he was moving on without me.  It didn't feel good.  It made me feel sad inside and I thought... "shit he doesn't give a crap about anything."

I soon found out that was the farthest things from the truth.  It wasn't that FD didn't care.  He cared.  In fact he cared so much it was overwhelming for him and he didn't want to break down because he was trying to be strong for me.  He was trying to be strong for the boys.  He didn't want the boys to see daddy scared that something was going to happen to mommy and they would be without me.

How did I find this out?

Well it goes back to number 1.) communication where love isn't enough.  I had to talk to him.  I told  FD how his reactions and actions were affecting me, what I felt and thought and that is when he corrected me and told me what he was really feeling and his emotions broke down.

So you see what I felt and thought was wrong.  He did care.  He was just handling it different than I thought he should and once we talked about thing it got sorted out.

5.) Never go to bed angry and time outs are important even for adults.

I cannot stress enough how important this rule is and how men and women again handle this differently.  But if you make it a rule from the beginning you will be fine.

Why should you not go to bed angry?  

Going to be angry doesn't leave either partner feeling good.  And 9 times out of 10 men go right to sleep as though the matter doesn't bother them and women stay up and brood over the situation because we for some reason can't sleep when we are upset.  At least I'm like that.  So I make it a rule never to go bed angry.  And besides you'd feel pretty crappy if something happened during the night and the last words you spoke to the person you loved were out of anger.

How can you resolve things if one person is not in agreement with the other?

Simple, you agree to disagree.  End of story.  Many time FD and I have had an argument or disagreement on something.  When that happens.  FD leaves.  No he does not run away.  He takes a time out.

Time outs are given to our children to help them calm down and reflect on their feelings, so that they can better resolve the issues they face without anger getting in the way.  The same goes for adults and that is where time outs come in handy so you don't say something  you will regret or do something to hurt someone else  you love.

Marriage is more than just love.  It's a partnership.  That is how it should be.  Love is great and it is what allows you to show how you feel about the person you are with, but marriage is more than that.  Marriage is friendship, taking the good with the bad, the ups with the downs and being able to communicate your feelings with respect and understanding.

Continue reading...

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

wordless wednesday: trouble with a middle "t"

It's been insanely gorgeous outside lately here in BC, especially with the Winter Olympics going on.

So my gf (t) came over the other day and she looked hot! I mean she was all dressed up and not in baggy jogging pants, which is what we stay at home moms are most comfortable in (ahem) seven days a week.

She looked beautiful! She had makeup on, earrings and I decided to take a pic of her.

Well this is response I got...

Holy Cow!  T you are suppose to say Cheese! LMAO

Continue reading...

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

It's total randomness at our house

It's Tuesday which means randomness is imperitive, thanks to Keely over at the UNmom.

My cat is crazy!  Thomas is part Siamese and part Tabby and he's nuckin futs lately.  I swear he's turning into a dog, drinking out of the toity and begging for food.  Well he decided he'd try to climb the curtains, something he hasn't done since he was a kitten.  He got caught and couldn't get himself off.

This week has gone by so damn slowly I feel like scratching my eyes out. With Olympic fever pitching its tent at our house, we've been watching everything. The skiing, the bobsled, the skating and of course the hockey.

Team Canada lost to the U.S. which was totally crappy, on Sunday. We had friends over to watch the game and that was fun, despite my stress level being up as I waited to do my heart tests this week.

So we were walking through Wal-mart and I was getting some soup because it was on sale. Primo, chicken and herb and beef barley (yum!) and part of the heart and stroke guide to goodness. When a little old lady came by and she started taking my soup out of my cart and putting it in hers.

Okay I had like 15 tins of soup so I can see how she thought maybe my cart was a display. But the Tampax and chocolate milk should have tipped her off that maybe she was taking from the wrong cart.

So FD says to her "Ummm excuse me, but you are taking from our cart."

The old lady looks at him and shrugs and then walks away with our soup!

So I grabbed more cans to replace the ones she took and all the while FD is covering our cart. "Elderly person 3 o'clock!" he says making me bust a gut.

Wal-mart ppl!

We got a new member added to our family. She's furry and cute and I'm in love with her. Pickleboy (who) doesn't like animals at all will pet her occasionally and is getting use to her more and more. He also named her. Her name?

Oreo Cookie!

Continue reading...

Monday, February 22, 2010

canada loses to the us but we still had fun!

Olympic hockey fever has taken our country by storm and FD (forgetful dad) and I are no different than any other proud Canadian and we hosted an Olympic Hockey Fever Event on Facebook for our friends to come over and cheer team Canada on against the United States on Sunday.

We lost! :( Yeah I know bummer.

It was a good game but hard to watch.

Canada had 44 shots on net and Brodure should not have been in net in my mind, Luongo should have but I am bias because I loveeeeeeeee him as he plays for Vancouver. Still Brodure should have stopped a couple that went in.

Our boys didn't play horrible but they didn't play great either. I think I screamed shoot! about 100 times during the game until my voice hurt. That was better than Fordy who kept standing up and calling them WHORES! LMAO.

God he was funny as the boys kept dicking around with the puck and for some reason thought it would be fun to NOT get it out of our zone and give the Americans chance after chance to score on us.

All of our friends seemed to have a great time. We made chili and Fordy brought chips. Jada and Mike brought wings and some pop which was totally great and Shoeless Mommy totally helped me decorate our home Canada style.
 Mike showing his Canadian spirit

Baby Zander with Irish Mommy holding his Canadian flag... Go Canada!

We handed out flags, tattoos and buttons when everyone walked in and most ppl wore red, ahem Irish Mommy and miss Laura you are forgiven, although Laura you did have red in your hair lol.

FD (Forgetful Dad Canada Rocks!

We decided to Lynch Draimen half way through the game because he started rooting for the US, and T shared her red blanky with me. Thank you, as I was cold.

Aunty T and Zander snoozing during the second period lmao

The kids played outside and had fun together. We are doing it again on Sunday (hopefully) if the Canadians go for gold!

Miss Jada and her little one have a snuggle during the game.

All in all it was a great evening with good friends, hockey and the spirit of being Canadian.

Continue reading...

Saturday, February 20, 2010

crazy days, bitching and stress

Last night was bad for me. I had terrible anxiety, worried about my heart. It should have been a good day because I weighed myself and I discovered I have lost another 8lbs since seeing the doctor last week!

My weight-loss is not something I have discussed here often. I'm embarrassed at the fact I now weigh 216lbs. Shit, well now there it is. Out in the open. I weight over 200lbs.

Since starting my exercising in January; I weighed 245lbs. So I've lost 29lbs total. I should feel good. But I don't. This condition with my heart has me wigging out and I've become a total BITCH basket case since my doctor is weaning me off my medication for bipolar depression.

It's been fun!

I'm trying not to stress or worry.  I'm trying to be happy.  One day at a time is how I've been living, especially when my husband has a brain injury and forgets things day to day.  However, with all that's happened, lately I cannot help but think of the future.

I think of the boys and I feel desperate to be here for them.  I want to see them grow up.  I want to see them graduate and get married.  Their first girl friend.  Their first job.  All that kinda of stuff; I think about lately and it's stressful whether I want it to be or not.

I told my g/f Shoeless I am going to church with her on Sunday.  I want to talk to a pastor.  I need to talk to someone.  I need to know it's going to be okay.  I need some peace of mind while I wait for the tests next week.  I need to stop feeling afraid, but I don't know how.

At least I can come here.  I can talk, even if nobody is listening.  I can vent.  I can cry.  I can share what I am going through without judgement and feel a little bit better for doing so.

One day at a time...

It's not easy but I am going to continue to try.

Continue reading...

Friday, February 19, 2010

friday frustrations: conversations with my computer

It's Friday! Whooooo Hooooo TGIF everyone and thanks to conversations with moms I get to vent away this morning all my Friday woes.

Dear Computer: I want you to know how much I adore having you. However, you've been slow lately corresponding with me. It seems almost as if you don't want to spend any time with me doing all the fun things we love to do, like web design, blogging and playing farmville. What can I do to make you feel better? I've helped you get rid of your colds. I've babied you by removing all your extra coats of clutter, giving you lots of free space to run around. What else can I do?

Dear JP: There is nothing you can do. I'm tired. Can't you understand I hate farming and going to your cafe. It gives me a headache which is why I shut down for a nap. I need to SLEEP! You over work me daily. You don't care about my feelings. You clutter my bedroom, leaving your games and toys lying around expecting me when you want and answer all your emails while you are out. It's tiring and I just feel you are being unfair!

Dear Computer: I am sorry you feel that way. I had no idea. I realize you are not at the top of your game. I realize age is setting in and perhaps I am asking too much from you lately. But I have jobs to do. I have people counting on me. People counting on you. Isn't there a way you can find it in yourself to push yourself just a bit? I promise to pick up my games and not leave them lying around. I promise to paint only three days a week instead of daily. I promise not to curse at you or take you for granted. Just please find your second wind and help me out a little. I can't afford to replace you and I don't really want to. So what do you say.


Continue reading...

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

koalas asking for water: wordless wednesday

It's Wordless Wednesday and someone snuck this into my inbox yesterday and I just had to share. It's sad but I guess when the fires were going on in Australia, it got so hot that Koala's were actually asking humans for water. Normally shy creatures these pics show their desperation.

If you participate in Wordless Wednesday, then head on over to their HQ and post your link and hop around to view others and leave comments.  It's a great way to meet other bloggers and have some fun reading some Wordless posts and seeing some cute pics.

Continue reading...

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

busy birthday weekend: random tuesday

Ya! It's Random Tuesday, one of my favorite days to keep everyone up to date on what is going on here.

Update on me:

I finished using the heart monitor and took it back to the hospital. It was sooooooo much fun NOT! Now I have to wait until the 24th to do the treadmill test and in the meantime keep myself sane which is not an easy task. Bed times are the worst for me. I hate night time because it means going to sleep and that means the possibility of not waking up which has really unruffled my feathers. I am trying not to think about it, since worry seems to be bad when you have a heart condition. Go figure!

Pickleboy has decided he does not like his bed again and has taken to sleeping with dad and I which is so much fun!  I swear to G_D I don't know if I can take anymore musical beds.  FD (forgetful dad) slept in Gamer's room, Gamer slept in PB's room and PB slept in our bed with me.  It's insane!  Next time I will play music so it will be fun.

The weekend came and went and was busier than normal.  The guys had hockey (early) heheheh like 5am they had to get up for practice and neither of them were impressed while PB and I lounged in bed until eleven snuggling.  Ahhhhhhhhh it was soooooooo nice hehehehe.

We had two birthdays to go to on the weekend.  One for my niece Caitlin who turned five.  Wow!  I cannot believe how fast the kids are growing.  We went over to my brothers house and the kids ate hotdogs, played outside and had some fun.  It's always nice when the cousins get together and my brother and I get to watch our kids play.  Makes me feel old though lol.

 Caitlin opening her gifts

Big sister Kae.  I was trying to get her to smile bigger by telling her she loves boys.  She's uncrackable!
Nana wishing Caitlin a happy wish before she blows her candles out.
 The kids posed for a pic and were all smiling.  Rare!
Nana wanted a pic with all her grandchildren.  I love how Pickleboy is staring up at her.  Colton is missing but he's in K-town with mom and dad.

 Right after my niece's birthday we headed straight for Castle Fun Park, an amusement place here in Abbey for Lil Miss's b day party.  I was so impressed with Shoeless Mommy and how composed she was.  She has done so well this year for anyone who truly knows her and how difficult her daughters birthday is for her.

Lil Miss is a twin and Shoeless struggles with the loss of her son on this particular day while still trying to celebrate her daughter turning the big five!  You did amazing babe and don't let anyone tell you different.  The party was so organized and the kids all had a blast.  Thanks for allowing us to be part of your day.
Lil Miss blowing out her candles on her Hannah Montana cake!
Pickleboy and Lil Miss sharing a choo choo ride.  They have decided they are best friends and so they will get married and have eight kids.  Shoeless and I are okay with that lmao.
PB on his first ever bumper car ride!  He lovedddddddddd it!
I had to snag a pic of my best friend Shoeless of course.  Luv ya girl!

PB played this penguin game for over half hour and racked up 82 points to use at the gift shop.
Big brothers (Mister, Lil Miss's big bro and Gamer my eldest trying be cool at the little kid's b-day party)

All in all the kids had a blast.  PB has decided this is where he wants to have his birthday party which is coming up in a few weeks.  I can't believe he's turning four already!

It was Valentines during the b-day parties and both FD and I don't really celebrate other than a few yucky love words that cause us both to be squeamish in the morning and a nod of I accept you after.  We decided to have more fun and took the boys go-karting because nothing says I love you like "get the hell out of my way before I run you over you bugger!"

We wound the weekend down with some Extreme Home Makeover and the boys went to bed at eight lol, tired from the weekend events.  It was fun.

If you participate in Random Tuesday please go and visit Keely over at the UNmom and post your linky there.  She is totally cool and random and fun to read!

Continue reading...

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Wordless Wednesday: heart monitor

Today is wordless Wednesday and although I mostly just post a pic, today is going to be a bit wordy as I went to ARH and got fitted for the holster monitor which I have to have for tenth four hours.

It keeps the time. I thought it would show my heart rate bit doesn't which is prolly a good thong since I am anxious enough.

Don't I look happy lmao Kay not! I won't get the results for two weeks after the treadmill test is done. I wish it was sooner.

Continue reading...

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

i believe, do you believe? the olympic theme song rocks!

We went to the Olympic Relay on Sunday. I posted a few pics of the boys on my last blog post.  The boys had a blast.  They were also lucky enough to get one of 250,000 coke light up bottles being given out at the torch relay's which they loved, along with being able to make their own torch, get their faces painted and being front and center to see Gordon Campbell yuck!  They are kids and don't better shhhhhhhhhhhhh lol.

I have to say I wasn't all that into it at first, the torch relay.  Heck even the Olympics themselves.   Not that I don't like the Olympics, hellooooooooooo hockey rocks thank you and being Canadian means loving hockey. Except for you T, which is forgivable because you have other outstanding qualities hehehe.

But once we were there at the Rotary and we saw the performance and heard the crowd. The kids all waiving their Canadian Flags. The electricity of the place errupted and you couldn't help but feel patriotic and even get emotional as the flame was brought down toward us. It was pretty incredible.

I am looking forward now to the opening ceremonies in Vancouver, only four days away. CTV released the official theme song for the Olympics which I don't care who you are; if you listen to the words it's pretty powerful and I love it. Here is a clip for everyone to see if you haven't already.

Continue reading...

i got diagnosed with long qt interval and i'm scared to death

It's Random Tuesday and I'm sharing again.  I was heading to a friends house to watch the Olympic torch relay running through Abbey. We got out of the car. Instantly I felt dizzy. I mean extremely dizzy and had to sit down because I felt like I was going to hurl (bad)!

This wasn't the first time I had felt this way. In fact I had - had quite a few dizzy spells in the past three months where I felt ill and everything started spinning around me like when I was in my twenties and drank too much at the bar.

This was just the first time it felt this bad. Like something was really and truly wrong and it scared me.

We headed to the rotary stadium for the celebration of athletes as the Olympic torch was being run in by Gerry Swan, hero of Abbotsford. The kids were all excited as we had up front seats right on the line to watch. Gamer was supposed to meet his teammates there from the Bulldogs, Abbotsford hockey but only a few came. Other athletes were there though so it was all good.
The boys waited over 45 minutes to get their faces painted

Watching the torch come in and sharing that with the boys and FD was a lot of fun and a once in a lifetime experience. The boys has a blast.  They were excited having their pics taken with the Olympic mascots and I tried hard to have a good time.

I was moody though. I felt off and I just wanted to go home, although I tried having fun. By the time we got home I was exhausted. I asked DH to bring down the bed so the boys and I could camp out. Mommy wanted some snuggles. It's one of my most favorite things to do.

I was asleep.

Something was wrong.

I couldn't move my arms.

I had pins and needles everywhere.

This was it and I knew it!

I got up and went to the bathroom and immediately called for Gamer to get daddy. FD came down and just as he turned the corner to the bathroom. I stared up at him and I said "this is it!" and I violently threw up all over the floor in front of him. Gamer called 911.

I was having a heart attack!

The ambulance came and rushed me in to the hospital where I spent the next four hours being monitored on a heart machines and had four EKG's done along with blood work.

It wasn't a heart attack. It was a pre-heart attack. A warning so to speak to tell me to get off my fat ass, take control of my life, quit smoking and eating shit that should never enter my mouth. To do something about my life! Because I have my kids and my husband and I want to be here.

It was a wake up call!

The doctor came in and explained on the EKG they discovered I had prolonged QT interval which basically means there is gap to how my heart is functioning and firing when I breath.

Is it dangerous?


I am going to see a cardiologist where they will give me a holster monitor and run other heart tests to determine whether my anti-depressant is what caused it or whether or not I was born with it like the doctor thinks.

However he is taking me off my Celexa, weaning me. I normally take 40mg and have been asked to cut it in half and then again in half over a period of twenty days until further testing can be done.

So there I am sitting in the hospital bed, an iv sticking out of me when the doctor says: This is serious. You need to not get excited about stuff. Don't get anxious and keep your anxiety levels low. Don't do strenuous physical exercise or worry too much about things or get overly emotional because all of things can be triggers for the heart.

Ummmmmm WTF? Hello jack ass I am on medication for bipolar disorder, anxiety disorder, and I have both a husband and son with special needs I look after. Stress and Anxiety are an everyday part of my life. How the hell am I supposed to become Zen all of sudden?

Anyhow that is where I am sitting right now. I feel like shit. I feel like I can't breath. I'm scared shitless I won't wake up when I go to sleep. I'm terrified to leave my kids alone and be without them. You name it I'm feeling the emotion.

I have lost 21lbs since January. I quit smoking yesterday, taking only a few puffs here and there and even that is disgusting to me. A big change since I usually suck back 25-30 nic sticks a day. I know I'm bad.

But I'm going to be better.

I'm going to change things.

I'm going to eat better.

Now I just have to get past being scared all the time.
Continue reading...
Related Posts with Thumbnails

Top Blogs

My Blogfrog



Rants n' Rascals Copyright © 2009 Cosmetic Girl Designed by Ipietoon | In Collaboration with FIFA
Girl Illustration Copyrighted to Dapino Colada
This template is brought to you by : | Blogger Templates