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Monday, March 8, 2010

kids, american idol and being girly: random tuesday thoughts


Well where to begin? It's Random Tuesday, one of my favorite days of the week where randomness is just around the corner and Keely over at the UNmom always makes me laugh and think mmmmmmmmmmm. So go and check her Randomness out.

As for me, it's been an interesting week. I'll start with the fact that it never ceases to amaze me the things my boys say to me, or blow my mind is more like it. Here are just a few.

Note: PB (Pickleboy) is almost four and GB (Gamerboy) is almost eleven.

PB: "You can go now." PB says while I'm snuggling him goodnight. "I don't need you anymore. I promise I won't follow you." (OUCH!)

GB: "Mom when am I gonna get hair on nards?" Ummmmmmm excuse me who said you have nards?

PB: "Mama, am I dopted?" ... "Uh, no." I replied. "Oh, well I want to be." Skips happily off to play in the backyard, leaving me mouth open banging my head against a wall. WTF?

PB: Standing in a grocery store when a lady is talking to PB when he tugs on my shirt.  "Mama you have a pussy, right?"  Okay nearly died.  He was talking about our cat, because the neighbor called it a pussy-CAT.  Man I wish PB didn't remember everything.

GB: "I want a girlfriend."  I look at him.  "No you don't."  Thinking, my gosh he's ten, praying he'd just slow down in life.  He turns to me.  "Why not?"  I think for a second and say "Look at me, do you want this?"  He smiles and says... "Good point!"  Yeah I'm saved again for another month or so... lol


I love American Idol.  I especially love it more now that Ellen is on.  I have to say, following that though, I am not thrilled with the girls this year.  The guys are way better, except for  Crystal Bowersox.  I loveeeeeee her.  She rocks.  She's a 24 year old from Elliston, Ohio.  She's also a mom and loves her son.

What I love about Crystal is her raw talent and she is heads and tails above all the girls on the show.  She acts as though she's been doing this for a long time, and she's not blondie blonde, big boobed, skinny to the bone.  She can rock out and sing a slow song, and tonight she wowed me with a Tracy Chapman song "Give me one Reason."  Best song of the night!

Go Crystal!  You have my vote for the top three.  Watch Crystal here singing CCR (totally awesome!)


Okay I can admit as much as I'm a car racing, hockey watching, don't care if you get dirty or have a potty mouth type of mom.  I also have moments where I'm actually a girl, and today was one of them.  I had a moment of total emotional breakdown.

I was searching the internet for which day Mother's Day falls on this year because I will be doing a contest giveaway for my readers.  It lands on the 9th this year, no big deal.  Then I saw it lands on May 8th next year which is my son's birthday, GB will be turning eleven, also the day he was born, best mommy day present.  But it was also the day I lost my little girl.

I was like four and half months pregnant going into my fifth month when I had complications and she didn't have a heart beat, and all of sudden I felt overwhelmed with sorrow for all the things I wasn't going to have.  I was never going to have a daughter.  I have three sons.  I was never going to have mother / daughter lunches.  Never going to get my nails painted with her.  She would have been turning five and starting kindergarten and so forth and I started bawling my head off.

Yeah I'm not sure what happened really.  Why it hit me like that.  I don't even really think about it anymore, not much.  I wanted a girl very badly but that is not the card I got dealt.  I got boys instead, and despite missing that from my life, it's never affected me like this, not since it happened years ago when I went through it.

It was strange to feel something that really should not have affected me.  Then Gamer hugged me, because he saw me upset and he confessed that he felt mad at me kinda because he really wanted a sister but he was sorry how hurt I was and for what I went through back then.  It touched my heart for him to share that with me.  God, I love him!  He's such an amazing kid.

All I can say is that when he gets married and his wife has a moment of insanity, my son is going to be well prepared lmao.

That's a good thing, right?


Elle Em En on March 14, 2010 at 4:19 PM said...

I absolutely loved your kids quotes. My 5 year old has also recently gone through the bedtime "ok you can leave" stage. I swear it's like a knife.

And as for your moment of insanity, I think we all have those. My sisters and I just lost our mother this last fall, and I'm dreading Mothers day. I think that it's totally normal to have those odd twinges of grief every now and then. No matter how long it's been.

Thanks for sharing.

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