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Tuesday, May 26, 2009

random tuesday: being sick, losing a child, and loving our children with disabilities, many blessings


Random Tuesday, something I love. Why? Because being random is like my biggest thing. I often get accused of jumping around with my thoughts which is something that pisses Corky off regularly, maybe why I do it, I don't know. I can't really help it. I just get a thought and speak it. I don't really stop to think about it. It's more like my mouth controls my brain which fugers me up constantly and often lands my ass in trouble.
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This week there isn't much to blah about except I'm still fecking sick! (thanks Kia) for the word usage my mother likes you already lol. And I'm fecking sick of being sick I tell you. I'm tired of the BRAT diet. Who the feck wants to eat banana's, rice, apples and fecking toast all fecking week long? NOT ME, that's for sure. But it's the only thing that will stay down in my tummy and keep me from blowing chunks in the toitie and praying to the porcelain God for a quick death over coughing and peeing myself like a wild animal! Shit my bladder might as well be ground up and used as paper mache for some school project for all the damn good it's worth.

To make matters even worse, day three of being ill miss P arrived. She comes monthly (you know) and heaven forbid she couldn't wait until this illness was over. No she comes smack fecking dab in the middle of it. So now I'm not only coughing and peeing myself, but bleeding like a stuck pig while I'm at it. I went through five pairs of pants in the laundry already! Thank God Corky isn't squimish when it comes to blood.

So I'm sitting on the sofa right now, watching incredible hulk with the kids while typing this tirade to you all. I'm thinking shit! Hulk is angry cause he turns green and mean he outta try being ill, having no voice, bleeding out his woo hoo and aching in every muscular joint God gave him, while dealing with five kids today, the business and the phone ringing off the hook. He wants to see green and mean. I can show him an anger ball that would scare the color right off his large ass!

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On another note. My GF BFF JF is having a hard time this week. She lost her son, her daughter's twin, four years ago and this week is a bit of down week for her. She's leaving her job which is causing her emotions to run a muck with her, plus she's sort of seeing a guy (web romance) and not quite sure if she likes him or not, her son is behind on his school work, she's a single mom and feeling the pain of long days, sleepless nights and not enough lovin... you know what I mean.

Anyhoo I am giving this shout out to her to feel better. We had a good cry today over her boy which I can't even begin to imagine the pain of losing a child. No mother wants to or should have to know that kind of pain. And no child should feel so scared.

So J this is for you. It's a beautiful song for your sweet boy who I know is with God watching over you and will see you soon one day. No matter what anyone tells you sweetie, you have a right to grieve, to be sad, to miss him each and every day of your life when you choose. And I want you to know I will always be here to hold your hand and weep with you when you need me.

Hugs and kisses

This is a video with the song by Mark Schultz called He's my son. The video is of a little boy named Carter who bless me makes me grateful in knowing many of us are not alone with loving children with disabilities, some worse than others. We are still not alone. Carter has CF and struggles each day of his life and my family and I send our blessings to him and pray each of his life is filled with balloons, kisses and love.




3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Being sick is never fun especially when u have kids and I fully agree with the let's see the hulk go through what we do before he gets mad next time theory lmao as for u r friend I feel for her the hardest thing for me right now being pregnant is thinking about my son and will it end the same but sigh ppl will never know it nor get it. But my thoughts go out to ur friend just let her know no one should ever tell her when its time to move on cry till u r 80 its aloud take care miss jp

Just call me JP on May 27, 2009 at 11:56 AM said...

Awww I'm sorry you are going through so much. I will say a prayer for you and your little one. Hold onto faith, though I know worrying is hard. Thank you for your comments and thoughts for my gf, she will appreciate them.

JF said...

JP you really are a great friend! Thanx for the good cry, sometimes I just need someone to cry with. and to the pp thank you for your kind words.

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