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Friday, June 19, 2009

bury your secrets

I just threw my mother of the year award out the window!

I'm not proud of this one but had to share it because well let's face it, the less I have on my bad girl list before I hit six feet under the more comfortable my resting place will be and less cluttered too.

So there we were at the lake with the boys and they were having a great time, as kids usually do splashing in the water, playing in the sand and enjoying the sunshine without any cares in the world.

Gamerboy jumped up and told me he had to go to the washroom and fast. His bladder often multiplies in density when he's having a good time and then suddenly like a tea kettle not watched; it boils over.

DH walked with Gamerboy to the men's room because I don't believe kids should go to the washroom alone, no matter what.  He's nine and complained he was a big enough boy to go but "NO WAY!" was I letting him, especially at a crowded lake like Aldergrove.

So there I am playing with Pickleboy in the sand when DH comes up to me with Gamer beside him doing the funky chicken dance. I asked what the matter was when DH told me the washroom was out of service.

"Oh!" I said, seeing the discomfort on Gamer's face. He looked like he was ready to climb out of his skin.

"What am I going to do?" GB asked me desperately. He couldn't go stand behind a bush. There were too many people walking around.

I gave him the option of going in going in the water and releasing his golden rays of sunshine, but even that idea grossed me out because we'd all be swimming in it. And I mean it's not like babies and kids don't pee in the water but I don't like to think of mine contributing to the sess-pool as I engage in the backstroke across the lake.

So I put up my hand and told Jake to wait a moment. I bent down and took Trace's shovel and dug a small hole in the sand and then pointed to it.

"Sit," I told him.

"What?"  GB looked at me incredulously. Then he looked at DH for support who just laughed aloud and walked away. "I can't pee in the sand, mom!"

"Why not?" I asked him. His shorts were already wet. Nobody would see. Sand gets wet all the time and besides I'd bury it when he was done.

Problem solved, right?

Well I guess he figured he had no other choice and he sat down on the hole. His eyes were like daggers at me while he did his deed as though it were my fault I forgot the Porto potty we don't have. And when he was finished I covered up the small tidy pool with sand and told him to go and wash off in the water and went back to playing with Trace.

"Mom?" he said as he stood up. The relief he felt was obvious but his expression held confusion. "What would you have done if I had to --you know--go number two?"

I paused, staring at him while I thought about it for a moment and then I replied... "Well I would have to have dug a deeper hole wouldn't I?"

Yeah I think I went down two notches that day on the perfect mom scale. But shit! What was I supposed to do? It was all I could think of at the time.


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