Wednesday, August 12, 2009
at Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Never saw it coming. Blindsided and totally thrown off guard. Tears rolled down my cheeks unexpectedly when the words escaped his tiny lips.
Now you have to understand. Well you don't have to, you can claim I'm a bad mother, it wouldn't be the first time someone has said that to me regarding pickleboy and his behavior toward us.
PB is a child who exudes confidence but he's also a child with special needs. With Asperger's he often throws tantrums when things don't go right. He bites and hits and screams. And despite these things though we are teaching him to control these outbursts and that acting this way isn't appropriate, whether it's toward us or other children or adults it's not right.
He wanted chocolate milk. It's something he has every morning. But on this particular morning we didn't have any milk. We were low on cash and couldn't afford to get any until payday.
I told him 'no' several times which didn't fair well with him. He flew into a rage and that's when it came.
"I hate you!" He screamed at me.
My heart stopped.
Gamerboy who is now ten never ever ever had spoken to me like that. In fact in all the years of raising him, GB hasn't even used the word 'no' to me. Sure he might whine a bit or complain or question when he doesn't think something I'm asking him to do is fair or to his liking. He is a child after all.
But he doesn't say 'no' and he certainly has never told me he hated me.
Instantly I cried. I know it's silly; I mean pickleboy is only three years old and most likely (ahem most likely) doesn't understand how his words can affect someone. But it really hurt.
My heart broke.
PB saw me crying and at least he came over to say he was sorry. Though at the time I was hurt and angry and really wanted nothing to do with him. He's three I had to remind myself and I tried to talk
Labels: cp chronicles