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Wednesday, August 12, 2009

my 3 year old hates me wtf?

Never saw it coming. Blindsided and totally thrown off guard. Tears rolled down my cheeks unexpectedly when the words escaped his tiny lips.

Now you have to understand. Well you don't have to, you can claim I'm a bad mother, it wouldn't be the first time someone has said that to me regarding pickleboy and his behavior toward us.

PB is a child who exudes confidence but he's also a child with special needs. With Asperger's he often throws tantrums when things don't go right. He bites and hits and screams. And despite these things though we are teaching him to control these outbursts and that acting this way isn't appropriate, whether it's toward us or other children or adults it's not right.

He wanted chocolate milk. It's something he has every morning. But on this particular morning we didn't have any milk. We were low on cash and couldn't afford to get any until payday.

I told him 'no' several times which didn't fair well with him. He flew into a rage and that's when it came.

"I hate you!" He screamed at me.

My heart stopped.

Gamerboy who is now ten never ever ever had spoken to me like that. In fact in all the years of raising him, GB hasn't even used the word 'no' to me. Sure he might whine a bit or complain or question when he doesn't think something I'm asking him to do is fair or to his liking. He is a child after all.

But he doesn't say 'no' and he certainly has never told me he hated me.

Instantly I cried. I know it's silly; I mean pickleboy is only three years old and most likely (ahem most likely) doesn't understand how his words can affect someone. But it really hurt.

My heart broke.

PB saw me crying and at least he came over to say he was sorry. Though at the time I was hurt and angry and really wanted nothing to do with him. He's three I had to remind myself and I tried to talk

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Kimberly Kihega on August 12, 2009 at 2:01 PM said...

My 2 year old has learned this saying from her brother. If she doesn't get her way, she'll shout it. I need to figure out how to get it to stop!!

JP Shaw on August 12, 2009 at 4:09 PM said...

Ahh how I feel your pain kimberly. Although my youngest didn't learn it from the oldest because he never talks to me like that.

We told Trace that kind of talk hurts feelings and if he continues doing it he will have a time out. Another thing I did and maybe it's wrong but when right after he said it i told him nicely i didn't want to talk to him because his words were hurtful and i left for a time out. This made him feel bad.

Then I came back and told him I forgave him but did not like what he said as it made me sad.

sparkee on August 27, 2009 at 5:17 PM said...

Awwwww muffin. Its rough at times huh? Bein a parent truly is the most temperamental and rewarding positions in the world. I feel for you hun....sendin loves!!!!

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