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Friday, September 4, 2009

friday frustrations: fears and tears





It's Friday which means it's time to be frustrated.

Wait!  That doesn't sound right, does it?  Ha ha ha, well it's a weekly thing.  You know every Friday I post what ailes me or gets my heart down in the dumps.  You can too, and send your linky forward so other people visit and read your post.

This Friday is especially emotionally for me because a lot of stuff has happened over the past week and with the kids going back to school and PB (pickleboy) starting pre-school on Tuesday.  I'm a big bawl of tears lately.

He goes to school at 9:30 till 10:30.  It's a good thing there is a parent room downstairs.  Not because I'm worried about him.  I'm worried about me.  Well okay I'm a little worried about him.  Will he listen to the teacher?  Is he going to have a melt down?  How will they deal with it?  Will they yell at him?  He hates it when people yell at him?  Will they understand his disabilities?  Will they even care about him while he's there?

All these things have plagued my mind this past week as we approach the day for him to leave me.  That's what he's doing, leaving me.  He is my last baby.  I've been totally focused on his life and needs for the past three years more than I ever was with Gamer, only because PB needed it.

Childrens Hospital and meetings with Child Development over and over.  Occupational Therapists, speech and more.  It's been a long road.  Now he's ready to interact with others, though he still has troubles.  Biting for instance is a big one.  That and not liking certain materials touching him or near him.  Letting go is never easy.

Speaking of letting go.  I need to stop getting so upset when nobody visits my blog, despite me visiting theirs.

When I started blogging I thought it went on the honor system.  I visit yours and you visit mine.  I partake in your weekly hop and you come and post a link to help me boost my readers.  But I've since learned it's not.

I have several blogs I read daily, not because I want them to visit me or give me comment luv but because I really enjoy reading what they have to say.  Whether it's on parenting, life in general or just randomness.  I love reading my favs.

But yesterday when I tried something new and failed miserably.  It was a kick in the gut and I realized I  have no friends lol.  No bloggy ones anyhow.

Maybe they don't like how I write.  Maybe they don't like me?  How could they not like me?  I'm likable, aren't I?


All I can say is I'm glad the week is over and I can begin again after the weekend.  I am not going to stop posting or give up even if nobody comes to see me.  I can't.  I enjoy what I do too much.  And for those who do leave me comments to say hi or they've enjoyed something I have written.  Thank you.  You have no idea how much it means to me.


If you wish to participate in Friday Frustrations please go to Conversationswithmom.com and learn how.  You can grab their button and post it on your sidebar and join the fun.

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