My moms cat is dying.

I know great way to start a post, eh?

But it's true.  She is dying.  She has been not eating.  She's lost a ton of weight and isn't drinking very much, and over the past several days she has now started vomiting blood on the kitchen floor.

Sasha (the cat) is a Balinese, well part anyhow.  When she was small and sooooooo adorable she looked like a purbread Balinese.  I was seventeen when mom bought her and right from day one she hated me.

Why?

Well okay, I'm not going to lie.  I was not a very nice daughter growing up.  In fact I was downright horrible to my mother.  I use to yell at her and scream and say awful and horrible things (sorry mom) again for the millionith time.  Sasha did not like it.

She would climb up onto moms lap and hiss at me when I raised my voice as though she were protecting my mother from something evil.  Me being the evil lol.  And when I would go to sleep at night she would sit at my doorway and just stare and growl.  I'm not kidding!  She would literally growl at me.

Now here we are 18 years later and this damn cat still HATES me.

Every time I go over to mom and dad's with the boys for dinner or a visit and Sasha happens to come downstairs.  I swear to God you can see the hatred in her eyes when they land upon me.  It's a big joke with my family at how this cat hates me and for how long.  I don't particularly find it funny truthfully.  I mean how long can an animal hold a grudge?

Well apparently until they die.

I went upstairs to pet Sash today since she's on her way out of this world and I'm a firm believer in making ammends (even with a cat) and I was suprised when she allowed me to pet her.  Not just pet her but love her.  It was such a nice feeling.

She cradled her head in my hand and closed her eyes.  I ran my fingers gently across her fur, feeling the sores on the skin beneath that have been there mom said for quite some time.  She even looked at me for a moment without hatred and anger.

Then she growled LMAO

Her sense of smell isn't quite what it used to be, so most likely she forgot what I smelled like and thought it was mom giving her love, dammit!  When she realized it was me; she went right back to hating me.

I wandered downstairs as both my parents had a good laugh at how this cat of theirs even on her death bed  is still holding a grudge for what I had done to my mother all those years ago.  I guess  it's kinda funny (NOT!)

Well Sasha I want you know something:  I have always loved you.  I have cried over you as I watched you wither away and grow ill with each passing day.  I have made ammends with my mother and even though you cannot find it in your heart to forgive me.  I forgive you.  I hope you know how much you have been loved by mom and how much she will miss you when you are gone.  You were a true companion for her, a baby to cuddle and love.  We will miss you dearly.

By the way please when you cross over don't get any bright ideas and come visit me and stand in my doorway to growl at me.  Let's let bygones be bygones.  Okay????