I went to the hospital early this morning which really sucked. The pain in my chest continued all day long and it was awful, just awful! I have never felt so bad in my life. I couldn't breathe, and to top it off nobody would believe what I was telling them. WTF is that about? I mean I know my own body. Who better to explain what is going on?


Anyhoo...

I didn't know if I was having a panic attack or I just had to fart pass gas or if it was truly my heart giving me signs to quit my damn nic sticks and get off my ass to exercise. I really didn't know. Honest!

Corey called the ambulance at like 3 am because the boys were sleeping and I didn't want to wake them. The guy was a real jerk, the one who looked me over. He looked at me like I was nuts and just needed to calm down. All because I was crying. I'm sorry but I was upset. I didn't want to go to the hospital but my fears and the symptoms I was having were beyond my ability to just remain calm. I know my body and I knew that something was wrong.

Several doctors came in all asking me questions. I told them the same answers. My jaw hurt. I had tingles everywhere. I had shortness of breath and it felt like a truck was sitting on my chest and so forth.

I had two EKG's ordered in the span of two hours. I had three blood tests done. Then it was time to wait. In the mean time the doctor wanted me to take some Ativan to calm my nerves. I refused, considering I had just gone off that medication because I didn't like how it made me feel. And if I was indeed having a panic attack due to my depression then I would have to either try another medication or learn to handle it.

Though deep down I knew it was something else.

Waiting at the hospital wasn't fun. Listening to the nurses gossip about me was even less fun. I could hear them whispering about how I was over-reacting to my "condition" they called it, how I'd come in all upset and now was resting and blah blah...

WTF (ever!)

The doctor came back and saw me three and half hours later when my blood tests and others came back in. He discharged me. So what was wrong you ask?

Apparently I have acid reflux!

When the gas gets trapped it causes extreme heart burn and other issues. My blood tests came back normal and my EKG was good. My blood pressure was also good, a little high when I was upset but it came down.

The doctor also said there is a problem with wall of my chest cavity which there isn't much they can do (until I actually have a heart attack) because I smoke. He understood how hard quitting is to do but gave me some ways to handle quitting if I choose, which let me tell you I am. He said to take Tylenol for it and he prescribed me a stomach pill very dull in side effects to help with the reflux.

So overall it WASN'T A PANIC ATTACK and there was actually SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME! I have to remain calm for the next few days and try to sleep. Take my pills on time and drink lots of water and exercise and stop smoking. All of which I'm going to work on, trust me.

As for the rest of today now that I'm home. Well it's my son's birthday. Trace turned 3 today and we are going to relax with a nice dinner of his favorite food (spaghetti) and open a few gifts and I'm going to just cuddle both my boys and Corey. Life is too short to do anything else but love them right now.

And when you feel ill or feel something is wrong with you. Tell someone and no matter what you hear or what they say, keep to what you feel because only you know what is wrong with your body. So listen when it speaks.