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Thursday, June 25, 2009

single parents can date online

Okay so with everyone Tweeting, Facebooking, Friend feeding... texting and chatting online. You name it and single folks are doing it.

Dating online has become one of the hottest and fastest ways for people to meet each other in the past ten years.


Why are sites like E-Harmony, Lava life, Plenty of Fish and countless others so popular? And is it safe to meet strangers you don't know with the hopes of finding your Mr. or Miss Right?

These sites and others are popular because they work. I know because I'm a success story. I know you are saying HUH? But JP you are married aren't you? Yes, but I wasn't always married. In fact after spending 12 years with my son's father and then five years as a single mom; I was the furthest thing from married you could say.

That is until I tried online dating.

What appealed to me about dating online was first and foremost - convenience. I was after all a single mother to a very rambunctious four year old. I hadn't dated in a long time, like over ten years, and the thought of going out night after night to meet different guys, trying to find one THE ONE that I might be compatible with....

Well let's just say I didn't have the time as a mom to do that, nor the patience with men (at the time). I tried traditional dating and went out with a few okay guys, but none that really rang any bells or whom I thought would be a good friend to my son, who at the time desperately wanted a father figure in his life.

But is it safe? What do I do if I want to meet someone? If I'm a parent should I let them come to the house and meet my kids?

These are all great questions. You should trust your own judgment of course. For me, I spent a month almost two chatting via email and online with DH before actually agreeing to meet him.

I was lucky, too.

He was a single parent as well and so he understood my needs as a mother came first and I had a rule about him meeting my son right away. So we met in a public place for coffee.

Now I won't lie. Magic happened for me. I met DH after dating online, had coffee, two months later we moved in together and within a year we got married. It happened very fast for us. But we both knew what we were looking for and we'd gone through online sites that matched us up perfectly. Meeting someone you are compatible with is important, someone with the same interests as you and knowing what you want in your future.

Here a Few Tips if you are Thinking about Dating Online

1.) Always meet in a public place, during the day with lots of people around.

2.) Never give out more information about yourself than you want to. Protect your home address, phone number and so forth unless you trust the person you are speaking with.

3.) Don't share more about your children than you need to. Don't tell someone you just started dating the name of the school your child goes to, teacher, grade, significant things that might give them information they can use until you know them better.

4.) Always tell a friend or loved one when you are going to meet a person you met online. Give them the time of the date, location, your cell phone or theirs, and even show them a picture of the person if you can.

5.) Trust yourself. We don't listen to ourselves enough when it comes to things. Our gut tells us good and bad things going on around us, so listen to it. I did and my situation turned out great. But I've been in bad situations where I should have listened and didn't and wish I had.

Good luck!

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