It's my birthday today!  I'm 36 years old and I was completely bummed out this week.  I hate getting older.  It's always emotional for me.  Time slipping by, watching my children getting older and my parents growing sicker as time trickles on.

It's also a time I spend reflecting on myself and all the things I hate about me.

* being overweight
* smoking
* drama queen
* insolent at times
* moody
* depressed about life

Those are to name just a few.  However I needed something different this year.  I needed to feel something different other than just -- OLD.

I've always been blond.  Well - okay blond or reddish blond, dirty blond, strawberry blond.  I've been blond.  So this year I decided it was time for a change and I went to Walmart - because that I live there lol, and I bought a new color for a new change.  I colored my hair dark.

Not just dark - but BLACK!



I love the new look.  I love how I feel.  It's funny how changing something so simple about yourself gives you reasons to look yourself over and suddenly see the good things you DO like about yourself.

* good mother to my boys
* patient
* good friend
* talented writer
* loving daughter
* geek at heart
* outgoing
* pretty (yes I said it finally) I think I'm pretty.  Only took 36 years to admit to myself LOL.

I decided that this new look means I can do anything or be anything I want.  Life isn't over but only beginning.  I'm blessed and grateful for all that I have in my life.  We all should - be grateful - instead of dwelling on what we don't like.

It also means being true to yourself, sticking up for what is important to you, even if it means hurting others and not NOT feeling guilty for having your own feelings.  That is how I'm changing.  I'm a new me and I like it.

I love my kids.  I love my friends.  I spent years being taken advantage of.  Years feeling guilty for having my own feelings and expressing them, sorry for the other person.  I'm older now and maybe even a little (just a little) wiser.  I am a strong woman and I know who I am and love myself for who I am and frankly caring about people is a big part of who I am, but that doesn't mean rolling over and allowing them to track their mud into life.

So to this birthday I say thank you!  Thanks for the great friends who came and celebrated with us at the hall for Turkey dinner last night.  It was great.  Lynn, Jenny Benny, my parents, Superman and Richie Rich, Karen, Jada, Sparkee and Aunty D & Uncle L,  Janet, Alberta Boy, all my nieces and nephews, my boys (pickle and gamer) and my beloved Corky.  You guys made the day special for me.

Thanks for showing me age is only a number and it's your state of mind, your heart and personality that can drive you down the road you want to travel on.  And that getting older can be fun if you surround yourself with the people you love, who love you back for who you are.


Happy Thanksgiving
Cheers to next year!