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Tuesday, March 16, 2010

just yank them all I say: random tuesday thoughts


It's Tuesday and you know what that means. It's time for randomness according to one of my "fav" bloggers Keely at the UNmom.

I woke up at 6 am, yesterday morning in such extreme pain, I actually cried hard, like a baby wanting a bottle. I wailed and wailed, telling hubby I could not stand the pain anymore, it had to stop.  FD called the hospital but of course they did not return our call - yacklickinfartmongers!  Did they not understand how I was feeling?

So once again I drugged myself up with Advil and T3's (taken together) which was the only thing helping the excruciating knife wielding pain in my ear.  Well that and my contemplated thoughts of taking hubby's tools and just yanking the little bastards out that were causing me so much pressure in my skull that if the kids asked me again for another drink, something to eat, another drink or something to eat, I was going to replay for them scenes from the exorcist - the part where the girl turns ugly, spins her head around and vomits green puke all over the walls!

This pain had to stop.

It finally did.  FD got a call from a local dentist at 8 o'clock saying they needed to see me right away.  So in we went.  I was prepared to rip off their heads if they gave me a lecture as to why I hadn't been to the dentist in over ten years.

Hey I was a UBC kid.  That should be explanation enough.  If you broke that is where you go to allow student dentists to hover over you with their drills, salivating at the chance to put holes through your cheeks for better grades.  It's torture I tell you!

But they didn't lecture me.  Instead the Dentist, an older and well -- rather sexy man in his fifties held my hand and told me... "We can save your teeth.  They aren't that bad.  Some have to come out, but we can save them."

When he smiled every bone in my body melted and I almost believed him.  Sorry huny, but man the dentist was hot!  I like older men.  Move over Shaun Connery.

They worked on my mouth, taking x-rays, which they didn't charge me for.  Then after putting needle after needle in my mouth, they decided my teeth needed to be cleaned, and again they didn't charge me for it, so how could I say no?  Nobody refuses a free dental cleaning, right?

Some twinkie not even old enough to babysit my soon to be eleven year old began scraping the crap off my teeth, over ten years of build up on my pearly (yellows).  Did it hurt?  Feck - yeah!  I actually had no idea how much calcium deposits rested on my teeth and by the time she was done.

I looked at FD and told him anything oral he wanted done to him would happen in the next life time because my jaw felt like crushed bone.  He wasn't thrilled to hear that - but I'm sure our marriage will be fine (wink wink).

The shots they gave me were not nice.  They didn't hurt but had adrenaline in them which induced an anxiety attack which I wasn't prepared for, but I managed it.  Then came time for the tooth extraction.  Dreamy Dr. Dentist couldn't believe how hard it was to take the tooth out because I could still feel it.  He continued putting in needle after needle until my face felt like a pumpkin.  Finally, he cut off the top of the tooth and put the needle directly into center of it and wala... yes I said wala, it's a neat word.  The tooth area was frozen and he wrenched it out of my mouth!

No more ear aches.

No more pain in my neck.

No more swelling.

I was free!

Now I'm just waiting for the tooth to heal and trying not to get a dry socket.  Ouch!  those kinda hurt worse than the tooth ache.  The dentist showed me why I was having so much pain.  The tooth was severely abscessed.  Nice - and I brush!

I go back next week for a follow up and more cleaning.  He said he won't be there but his sons will.  Mmmm I'm thinking well-- if they look anything like their dad.  I just might enjoy going to see a dentist for the first time in my life.

Happy Random Everyone!



Frugal Vicki on March 17, 2010 at 5:13 PM said...

My face was literally squinched up through that whole post. That was the most painful thing I have ever read. eeech

~ JP ~ on March 17, 2010 at 7:27 PM said...

Oh my gosh! Sorry I had no idea I could make you actually feel there, with me, in pain lol. Thanks for commenting though, I'm sending you a virtual Advil for the suffering I've caused lmao.

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